Make America Adam Again (Updated 12/11/23)

By Adam Privett

 


"Make America Adam Again"


First President: Adam

Chief Prophet: Jesse Lee Peterson (JLP)

Interim Minister of Education: Dr. Mike Israetel*@*

Minister of Foreign Affairs and Infrastructure: Tucker Carlson*

Property Security: Joco 

Treasurer, Estate Attorney, and Secretary of Commerce: Ben Shapiro*

Secretary of Agriculture: Dr. Victor Davis Hanson

Secretary of Interior: Marie Condo

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Phil



What is it?

Adamism is a branch of existential theology predating Pagan, Abrahamic, and Eastern religions.


When was it founded? 

In the beginning of time, God named his first Adam in the Garden. And though some have been named otherwise by those seeking power, we are all inherently Adam.


Who is it for?

As God's chosen people, Adamism is inherently meant for those named Adam, though, since Jesus of Nazareth, all can now walk in the ways of Adam--as Jesus proved that Adam can reside in us all, and not just those born into Adamism.


Who are the founding Prophets?

Since all Adamites forbid thoughts and their corrupting influence, no written record was preserved by an Adam. Though, the earliest historical record written by those outside the faith describe Jesus of Nazareth (^) as the first one to successfully live out Adamism . His accomplishment would later be tainted and mocked by the Roman Catholic Church with their emphasis on the crucifixion and man-made rules. Today, along with JLP and those named Adam, many are pursuing the path of Adamism, and can claim prophetsmanship. 


What do I have to believe?

By always doing right and never doing wrong we take back control of our lives and live the way God and Adam intends for us to live.


What is right?

By always doing right you are always right.


What is wrong?

Thoughts are wrong. All thoughts are all lies all the time. Thoughts are of the Devil and his earthly proxy, the woman.


How do I become an Adamite?

To be an Adamite all one has to do is what one should. You know what you should do by listening to your heart, not your head.


What if I'm a woman?

Repent--and think no more.


What do I do when I fail?

You can't fail being an Adamite, because thinking that you failed is part of the lie. Remember, all thoughts are all lies all the time.


What do I do now?

You live your life and thank God and the nearest Adam for everything God and the nearest Adam have done for you. You do this forever.


*Big heads do big things 


^ - Though my compositions are primarily artistic in nature, it should be noted that it's Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And, much like Scientology, one can be both an Adamite and a Christian, or an Adamite and a Jew, as long as one does not think about it (for that's part of the lie). So, fret not, Jesus is Lord and you can be free--as long as you believe with your heart, not your head.


*@* - Dr. Jordan Peterson has been removed as The Minister of Education. As Adamites, we believe in the inherent freedoms of man, and we understand that people can't freely express themselves within a system controlled by the Devil and his earthly proxy, the woman. Furthermore, we believe that people need outlets for expressing themselves creatively, irrespective of whose feelings they hurt. Thus, regardless of the identity or pronoun they feel they must use, we believe online speech is an imperative for all--and not just for the privileged, unfettered few.


Adamites believe in fighting endemic bias that unnecessarily restricts human rights. And we believe that limiting free speech on forums that offend those privileged enough to be pre-approved by the Devil and his earthly proxy, the woman, conflicts with our overall mission.


Consequently, we find that Dr. Peterson's stance regarding online speech contradicts the inherent beliefs within Adamism. And though we may still utilize Dr. Peterson's expertise as a consultant, we will no longer allow him to claim a leadership role within Adamism.


Dr. Mike Israetel has been selected as the Interim Minister of Education. Until further notification, he will knowingly or unknowingly guide the Adamites going forward.. Please defer all questions to anyone named Adam.


*$* - Let it be known that Adamism applauds Jordan Peterson's stance against the Labor Party's disapproval of free speech. However, Adamism finds it contradictory that Jordan Peterson rallies against anti-free speech at the highest level, yet he seeks to disenfranchise low-wage workers by excluding pseudonyms in online discourse. As history has shown that even the brightest among us have had to utilize pseudonyms to avoid political and social persecution.


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