Coup De Tarte -3- A New Approach (Updated 4/27/24)

(* = reworked lines)

So the day began

As any other

Pots they clanged

And desserts they cluttered

But the Pieman knew

And the Caker did too

That things would soon change

Merging paste with the goo

Each had a plan

And a new approach

But soon the Pieman *

Would come to know *
He had a problem 

That the Caker didn't 
How could he get cakes
To want what was missing

From pies to cakes

It's about the shell

But cakes to pies

Is about the fill

With that in mind

He began to scheme

How he could sell

His own cake-pie dream

[Mestuffstoplease]

I've learned from Cream Cake

That cakes are wary

They see pies as victims

And the Pieman as scary

So what I must do

Is change how they think

From the paste that they fashion *

To what's buried beneath...

I'll have to be cautious

For not all have the same tastes

From Key Lime to Chocolate

They have different needs

I'll see what they see

Before I make my approach

I'll listen real closely 

To hear what they know

[Exit Mestuffstoplease]

So off he went 

With his new mindset

He walked the aisles

And paid close attention

He first passed a window

With a formidable treat

But Baked Alaska's too dense

To ever accept his jelly 

A little further down
He found a cake so replete
Ornately placed bananas
With cookie wafers too neat 

It was the Banana Cream Cake
One of Caker's elite

It's said that he's nutty

And prone to conspiracy

He gave it a minute 
Then decided to pass
But he might need to revisit
If at least just to laugh

A little further down 
He came to one that he liked
It was the one known as the Carrot
A true baker's delight

But he slowly thought about it
And though the Carrot wins on merit
To jelly a beloved cake  
Could leave one and all embarrassed

He thought about Cream Cake

And about the TV

Perhaps he still wants one plain 

But without the dreaming 

Soon he passed the Chocolates

And they always looked yum

But their location is crowded

And their tastes exorbitant 

He decided to move on

For it would be a hard sell

Much like the Cream Cake

They have visions to fill

But a little further still

He found one that he liked

Pao-de-Lo de Ovar

But it's just too plain to delight

Then he came to Red Velvet

And he thought about the next

For what can you give a cake

That's better than the rest

A thought then occurred

And he stopped in his tracks

He slyly posted up 

To hear the things that they said

They talked about their cream 

And how long it would last

How boring are their dreams

For they want what they have

And they talked about the Caker 

And his supposed beliefs

Though they think they're just rumors

They say he thinks all are unique

Then they talked about the commons
The ones stacked in the back
And how'd they always be haters
For the things that they lacked 

He now had an opening

For he saw the right play

Enter Mestuffstoplease 

To come save the cakes

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm sorry to intrude
But I've heard of your trouble
Perhaps I could shed some light 
That you don't get in your bubble

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

We've seen your kind
You usually come and we go
Say what you want 
And be on with your show

[Mestuffstoplease]

You mistake me
I'm not a taker nor caker *
But I'm known to fulfill cake dreams *
You could say I'm your savior

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

What we want you can't give us
For it doesn't exist
We have cream in abundance
And our taste's exquisite 

[Mestuffstoplease]

All that is true
And that's the story cakes tell 
They also say cakes that have it all
Usually end up in cake Hell

[Red Velvet Cake 2] 

We've heard all the rumors
We know how they hate
But there's nothing we can do
So we just sit and wait

[Mestuffstoplease]

But that's not just a folktale

You know they are right
True goodness happens inside
It doesn't happen in sight

[Red Velvet Cake 3] 

What could you do for me *
As the fulfiller of wishes *
We have everything we need *
And we are already delicious *

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'll let you in on a secret
Something you can trust
I have this substance called jelly
It perks you right up...

It will change how you feel
It will imbue you with love
Other cakes will want to see
And to know what you've done

You will feel it in your seams
And want to give out free hugs
And no one will focus on your cream
Just the love from above 

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

All that sounds amazing 

But there's a problem at hand

For will we have enough

When they want what we have

[Mestuffstoplease]

It's not something for grabbing

It just comes from me *

You just tell them how to have it

When they want what could be *

Just tell them what you have

But don't be specific

And tell them how to pray*

It should go something like this:

Our maker

Who arts our breading

Who knows our paste

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

They'll think that we're lying

They'll become suspicious

Rumors will fester

And become contagious

[Mestuffstoplease]

Let them think that you're lying
Leave that up to me
For I know where they're hiding
I'll give to them as they please

I'll weave my path
Throughout this place
And listen to them ask
For my jelly's sweet taste

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

So what do you want 
For this magic jelly you have
All we have is what you see
There's not much you can grab

[Mestuffstoplease]

I give it for free
For I'm kind of your father
Just do as you please
And enjoy what I offer...

Just remember the words
And repeat after me
But say it like you mean it

If you want my jelly...

Our maker

Who arts our breading

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

Our maker

Who arts our breading

[Mestuffstoplease]

Who knows our paste

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

Who knows our paste

[Mestuffstoplease]

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste...

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

Please bring the jelly

With all due haste

[Mestuffstoplease shoves piping bag in the Red velvets and jellies with abandon]

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

Ouch
Why does it hurt so much

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

It's just growing pains
Good fathers believe in tough love

[Red Velvet Cake 1] 

Now I feel slightly awkward
I don't know what to do
Or what's worth the bother 
What seemed false now seems true

[Mestuffstoplease]

You'll soon feel a zest for life
Once the jelly absorbs your paste
Don't forget my wise advice 
And remember to tell the cakes...

But I have to be off
There are duty's that remain
But if you do see me above
Don't be afraid to say hey 

[Before they replied Mestuffsoplease scampers off]

Mestuffsoplease was in a hurry
He did not have time to waste *
In fact he knows he must act fast *
To protect the illusion that's at stake *

For he knows all too well
How patience can turn into hate

If promises aren't kept 

Or if they happen too late

So he devises a plan
That he thinks is quite great *

And rushes to the computer
In an urge to create *

Cake-pie's must be a thing
Before the end of the day 
For when Chef asks cakes about cake-pies*

He must have cause to celebrate

[...]

Mestuffsoplease creates an image
One he's sure Red Velvet lacks
He makes a poster of his new cake-pie 
"New With Jelly!" in red and black *

He posts a few in aisle two *

And a couple more in aisle four *

He's sure the news will bear some fruit *
And get many more cakes soon onboard *

[Mestuffsoplease]

They are now part of my jelly horde 
For it's trapped inside their belly *

They'll have to love their new image  *
Even if they don't like their new jelly *

[Walks Idly around the store]

Mestuffstoplease now walks with ease
And a little self-assured *
He thinks of a clever line to repeat
That he utters throughout the store:*

"Love's in fashion, and jelly's free"

He's not doing it because he's mean
He's doing it because he knows
The effect subconsciously
When cake appetites start to grow*