Coup De Tarte -11- A Glossy Transition (Updated 5/4/24)

 

As upgraded pies met cakes

It became a normalcy 

And integration

Proceeded just fine

But the Pieman hates

The daily monotony

So he started experiments

On pastries of all different kinds

Everything was just great

In fact he couldn't wait

To show the Chef

All the things that he would find

But he developed more than a taste 

For his unusual Bundt cake date

And trips to the closet

Became his favorite pastime

But things were exciting

Cakes and pies started selling

They gained attention 

More than they expected to find

For one morning he came

And saw something out of place

There was a hole in the wall

Which led to the restaurant behind 

[...]

[Mestuffstoplease]

Chef what's going on

Why do I smell beans and tortillas

And why am I seeing scuttling men

Who remind me of Via

[Chef]

Well, unbeknownst to me

We've been acquired recently

But for now

Things will continue as planned 

Though there will be new changes

And we'll be seeing new faces

And practically speaking

We're now Cocina Sureña's second hand

[Mestuffstoplease]

But what does that mean

Will we change what we make

And will anything change 

With our hours or routine 

[Chef]

As far as I know

They want extra space

Just to stow

A few treats

And perhaps a few helping hands...

Though there is one thing

They want us to make

One of their house specials

Something known

As simply Rice Pudding 

But it's easy to make 

We'll just need extra fridge space

And they'll probably make some

Where they're currently looking 

[Mestuffstoplease]

So I should continue to bake

And experiment as I please

Until we know more

Of what they'll change 

With our cooking 

[Chef]

Yes 

Just don't act absurd

And continue with your work

Our profits have risen

And to be drastic

Would be off-putting... 

For them we're just a meager acquisition

So we'll still be running the kitchen 

But we'll probably help them out

With extra things from time to time 

But they could make some changes

If they don't like our new faces

Or if they see behavior contrary

To what they expected to find 

[...]

So Mestuffstoplease

Went off to his corner

Regained his composure 

And experimented on his craft

In between his work orders 

He jellied on cookies

He jellied on croissants

He jellied on muffins

He jellied on scones 

He even jellied in a drink

But that was a just because

For he happened to be thirsty

And he needed a sugar rush

But he also poked and he prodded

He tried to get them to be different

He didn't know what he wanted

But he trusted his intuition 

He put them in all sorts of positions

And places pastries didn't know existed

He even created newfangled editions

From segues coalescing from traditions

He put a brownie in jar 

And he made a cookie into a straw

He even put a biscuit on a stick

And then he jellied all over it

But he really liked putting cakes in jars

And at first he didn't know why

But he found that they would no longer talk

And that was a relief to his mind 

And he also liked working with pies

It felt too long since he had

For him it was more than a matter of pride

It was the returning of an ostracized dad

He tried to elevate them

By putting them on a stick

But the stick would have to be thick

Or it would just collapse at the tip *

He found it best just to make them

Into little mini pies 

For they couldn't have a big head

If they were to stand upright and high *

He would call them pie pops

And he was so proud of his design

That he would not share it with the others

It would rollout exclusively for pies 

Then he took them off the stick

And he looked at them closely

What's the difference between this

And what's the difference between cookies

With many small alterations

There was no ending to pie equations

From pie bagels to pie muffins

There will always be pies baking 

He even worked with croissants

For they suffered needlessly 

No longer would flavorlessness be a thing

For he filled them with jelly abundantly 

But all this creating and altering 

Drained him of mental energy

So he decided to take a break

With an exceptionally glossy bundt-hole cake *

Fifteen minutes later 

Now feeling a lot better

He exited the closet

To find an unexpected waiter

[Waiter]

Disculpe señor patrón Este es el baño?

[Mestuffstoplease]

Not knowing much Spanish

And slightly scared into a panic

Mestuffstoplease scanned for Via

For Spanish was his language

He pointed to Via's section

Hoping that he got the message

Then he walked in the opposite direction 

To avoid further interaction and detection *

Perturbing and slightly upsetting

The situation inhibited his discretion

So he decided to visit his Chosen

To see what if anything has happened 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Hello my Chosen

How have you been

Have you heard anything of the jellied

Or anything about the Jelly Man

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

The Jellied are everywhere

Praise be to the Jelly Man

We hear that he's on a crusade

To make many more jelly fans

[Mestuffstoplease]

Cake 1 it's me

Do you not recognize my voice

I am the one who brings jelly

I am the reason you rejoice 

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

I apologize great one

But I don't think that we have met

Perhaps you're thinking of cakes past

Unfortunately they have left

[...]

Mestuffstoplease gave Cake 1 a hard look

And realized what he said was true

For though Cake 1 is abundant with his jelly

That's not the way the Jelly Man applies his goo

He knew that it must have been the Caker

Now that he knows the Jelly Man's craft

Still a jellied cake is a jellied cake

So he continued with the questions

That he would ask 

[Mestuffstoplease]

So is there any jelly gossip

How are things going 

Is there anything you want to ask

Is there anything worth knowing

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Not really Jelly Man

Everything is going fine

Though some of us are jellied

And some of us are blind

But we believe in you Jelly Man

For we know that you are kind

Your jelly drip fills us from above

And your jelly pump fills us deep inside

But why don't you just jelly everyone
That way they would know what jelly's like

For the unjellied only know their own

And we can't change what's on their mind

[Mestuffstoplease]

Though in recent times

Many are jellied upon birth

The ones who really appreciate my jelly

Are the ones who I personally jellied first

For they are the only ones

To truly know jelly's worth

For to go without and then be jellied

One comes to understand the curse

That cakes are born into crumbs

And they are exposed to unforgiving air

And because cake's essence is a sponge

What they attract leaves them in despair *

So though the unjellied

Know that they are doomed

They cannot refuse to unsee *

What they have always perceived as true *

But there is still hope

They just have to believe in jelly

They have to say their jelly prayer

And really want my jelly in their belly

In the meantime

They can learn all about jelly

We have Pie, Meets Cakery *

Always airing on the tele 

And there is always you

You can share your jelly dream

And they can learn what's deep inside

And what you value above your cream

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

That makes sense Jelly Man

Thank you for enlightening us

But we see that now pies have jelly 

And there's rumors of other jellied creations

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Truth be told

The jelly in and of itself is good

And though not one deserves jelly

We jelly them because we should 

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

So cakes are not inherently better

And we should live and let live

[...]

Mestuffstoplease's eyes were averted

He saw a very attractive lady in red

She seemed to be waiting eagerly

But nothing anywhere was said

He broke off his conversation 

And walked steadfastly in her direction 

When he finally caught up with her

He immediately regretted his decision 

 

She was holding Cream Cake

The one with ostentatious candles *
Though the fondant he never expected

He bargained for more than he could handle *

[Mestuffstoplease]

Good morning ma'am 

Can I help you out today

[Lady in Red]

Yes, I didn't see a price 

But I wanted to purchase this cake 

[...]

Mestuffstoplease looked around

And there was no Chef and no Caker

So he saw an opportunity *

For an explanation he could savor *

[Mestuffstoplease]

Yes, Ma'am, I'm sorry for the wait

My co-workers must be occupied

For there's a lot going on today *

But I can help you with your buy *

[Lady in Red]

Yes, no worries

I'm just grateful you're here

[...]

Mestuffstoplease scans a plain sponge cake

With no time to spare 

[Lady in Red]

Oh, wow, that's cheaper than I expected

[Mestuffstoplease]

Yes, this one was on pre-order

But I guess he rethought his cakey blessing 

[Lady in Red]

Thank you so much have a good day

[Mestuffstoplease]

Thanks, you too ma'am!

I hope you have a better one

Until we meet again

[...]

Mestuffstoplease ignored her confusion

And his apparent equivocal Freudian slip

But he's not one for pick-up lines *

Giving his holey Bundt cake preoccupation *

But the Chef and the Caker

Were nowhere to be found

Only some Cocina workers

Were scuttling all about 

At first he checked out the office

But that was to no avail

He even peeked into the bathrooms

But there were no cake crumbs on this trail *

Then intuition struck his mind

And he made his way reluctantly

To the storage closet just in time

To see the Chef in the trash rummaging

[Via]

We have some thieves apparently
It looks like they took a cake
But only for an itty-bitty piece

[Chef]

Have you seen anything Mestuffstoplease

[Mestuffstoplease]

Well, nothing that I can think of
But there was a Mexican asking for something
So I directed him towards Via 

[Via]

Si senor yes Chef
He was just looking for the bathroom

But other than that 
I don't know where he wondered off to *

[Chef]

For now on 

I want both of you to keep an eye out
We'll need to catch them in the act
If they want to steal while we're around