Coup De Tarte -8- A Jellycentric Focus (Updated 5/4/24)

 

Coup De Tarte -8- A Jellycentric Focus

So the Pieman left
With a new goal in mind
To jelly atop 
And to jelly just right
For he can't jelly any
He must jelly the right kind
The ones who'd disavow
Ever knowing a pie

For the Pieman knows
If you jelly in sight
The proud can never renounce
Their pie allegiance nor fight
They'll instead carry their clout
And slowly convince the lesser
What pies and cakes are really about 
Which is giving joy to their transgressor

Because if it wasn't for gossip
Passed down through folklore
All desserts would recognize
What they have in common and store
For they're nothing special
They're just edible treats
Giving life and joy to the greater
Who allowed them to be

So that's the plan 
The Pieman has going forward
To visit key cakes
Before they see the others in storage
For pies are now changing
And soon they'll be enormous
With newfound cream
And topless adornments

 

[...]

 

Mestuffstoplease would grab his tri tip
His pastry cart and his top-ten cake list
But he noticed a problem
With his chosen cakes-to-jelly method
He's looking at the customer-preferred cakes

Not the cakes that other cakes respected 

 

To find the answers 
He'll have to visit his Chosen
And shake the cakevine
To see what other cakes have spoken

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

My Chosen cakes
How has everything been

 

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

 

Jelly Man!

We're so glad that you're back
Where's our cake friend

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Cake 3 is in my mansion...
Doing cake things
Do you want to cake gossip
What news can I bring

 

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

 

Oh nothing really 

It would just be some cake banter *
It would not be worth your ears

To hear our cake chatter * 

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Tell me cakes
Out of all the desserts
Who is most respected
And who is the worst

 

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

 

It is true what they say
Bigger is better
So forget the crossiants
Cookies and anything that splatters

 

What you want is something stout
Sweet, rich, and balanced
A variety of texture
But consistent through the challenge

 

Personally I like the Black Forest Cake
Though its transitions are predictable
You can't resist what it's bearing
Which makes it the most formidable *

 

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

 

I like the coconut cake
It's sweet, nutty and energetic
And throughout it's all the same
You never have to guess where it's heading...

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Let me rephrase the question

Out of all the cakes spoken of
What cakes have no blemish

And what cakes are rather gross
So much they're not worth the mention

 

[Red Velvet Cake 3]

 

I like the Carrot
It's as sweet as it seems
So it obviously wins on merit
For sweetness is the cake dream
It's the only thing that's worth sharing 

 

And I think Lemon Tofu Cheesecake is the worst
It besmirches even the original 
Which we all know is not a true cake dessert

So it could never one that's respectable *

 

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

To be honest Jelly Man

I'm not sure what you're asking
Every cake is unique
There's so many worth the passing *

But I can tell you one thing 

Lime Cake is a cringe
I have never heard a sweet word
Of it ever being mentioned  

 

Spice Cakes are always different
They can be hit or miss
Some of them are rather bland
But some are quite delich

 

But there is a problem
With cakes rating cakes
We all bring something different

And we too have been made

[...]

 

What Mestuffstoplease understood
Is that cakes' tastes are quite exquisite
And though their favorites might differ 
What cakes valued was not all that different

 

And cakes and their creators
Were not at all that distinct
Both are biased to what's inside
Yet their judgments are quite in sync *

 

Maybe it was the TV
Or the talking in the kitchen
But cakes are in the know
Regarding what each cake is missing

 

But Mestuffstoplease always liked the Angel
And a homemade Coffee Cake
But he's always been rather simple *
And doesn't see a need for change

But perhaps that was the answer
It wasn't a matter of cake respectability 
But a matter of populating 
A diverse selection of cake-jellied treats 

 

So he considers this a lesson
Of what jellied cakes he wants to see *
Sprinkled throughout the many
As his influencer-cake-jellied treats

 

So back to old moves 

He knew what needed to be done 

He'd roam the populous

And jelly the confident

 

And he won't discriminate

All cakes can be number one

They just have to accept his dream

And his jelly coming from above *

 

Of course he'll be smart

He'll be very considerate  

He'll note each jellied cake's location 

And determine a similar radius *

 

So he bid his adieu 

To search for cakes
To share his jelly love

So goodbye Red Velvet crew

And hello Carrot Cake Crunch 

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Hello Carrot Cakes

I am the Jelly Man

Have you heard of me

And are you a jelly fan

 

[Carrot Cake  Crunch 1]

 

Yes we have heard of your jelly

And we appreciate your fandom

But we are satisfied with our bellies

So we'll pass on your jelly love

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

That's a shame

Because I don't usually show unless I'm called

But I came to you because you're special 

You could be the most special jellied of all *

 

[Carrot Cake Crunch 2]

 

What about the Red Velvets

Aren't they your Chosen cakes

Besides we like to practice what we preach

Not just jelly in our display

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

The Red Velvets are my Chosen cakes
They will always be in my heart
But you I want to jelly based on merit
Not just because of who you are

 

I like you because you're caring

I like you because you're nuts

I know you'll spread the news

Of your jelly pairing with the greatest love

My jelly will excite you 

It will fit you like a glove 

And with your innate persistent passion

You will jelly like a jelly dove

 

But I know you're afraid of commitment

For when you're in you're in for good

So how about I just jelly what I see

Until my jelly's better understood *

 

[Carrot Crunch Cake 3]

 

I can only speak for me

But I'd like to give your jelly a try

Jelly on my nuts and cream

But do not jelly my inside

 

[Carrot Crunch Cake 1]

 

If he's in I'm in too

You can jelly me 

Inside and outside

You can give me your goo

Jelly me with your jelly pride *

 

[Carrot Crunch Cake 2]

 

I like the idea of your jelly

I heed it and the Jelly Man's call

Jelly where you want to jelly

All for one and one for all

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

I will only jelly what I see

For I have to make other jelly calls *
Tell others of my jelly treat

And I'll be back later on 

[...]

 

Mestuffstoplease was telling the truth *

For he had only so much jelly on-hand *

And he didn't want to spend too much time

Running back and forth to his jelly stand

 

He'd continue his campaign

And jelly a select few aisle by aisle *

And each one he decided to goo *

Complemented the collection *

He's jelly styled *

 

He realizes he's overthinking 
Any cake will really do 
What really matters is proximity
All should be influenced by the goo

 

Then he passes something he's never seen

Something the Caker failed to mention

A Giant Cinnamon Roll Cake 

Its appearance alone begs attention

 

Mestuffstoplease considers his mark

And the future possibilities 

If he sways and jellies this roll cake

He'll set a precedent to jelly across boundaries 

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Hello cake

I'm the Jelly Man 

Have you heard of me

And are you a jelly fan

 

[Giant Cinnamon Roll Cake]

 

Of course jelly Man

But I have no need of your jelly

Besides I heard it's from the Pieman

And it can create an upset belly

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

That's just hateful jelly gossip

Besides 

There are many who can attest

To how jelly perks you up inside
And would declare the contrary as nonsense...

 

Hmm

And what if I told you that it was

That it's the Pieman's secret weapon 

And that's why pies hide in their crust
To keep others like you guessing 

 

[Giant Cinnamon Roll Cake]

 

If that's their secret weapon

Then consider it a dud

For cakes own the window scene 

Thanks to the Caker's cream
And all He's done

 

Mestuffstoplease

 

Let me tell you a little secret

The Caker's not the only one

In fact there are many places like this

And each has a unique cake-pie balance

 

In fact in other places like this

Pies dominate displays and the window scene

But because here the decider is biased

He selects the Caker and his dream

 

[Giant Cinnamon Roll Cake]

 

Who is this decider

And why does he favor cakes

Is there something special about us

Or the maker of our cream

 

[Mestuffstoplease]

 

Well above every decider

Is another decider still

And the one who decided this place

Had other deciders desires to fill

 

We call him the one who profits

He tells us what's to be

You may know the Pieman and the Caker

But they're working under him as a team

 

No one knows why he biases cakes

But right now I'm just the Jelly Man

And all I can do is offer cakes 

The chance to become a jelly fan

 

So what do you say cake

Will you let me jelly just a bit

I'll come back a little later

And you can tell me how you like it

 

I don't even have to put it inside

I can just drizzle you from above

And when you decide that you like it

I will come back with more jelly love

 

[Giant Cinnamon Roll Cake]

 

Okay Jelly Man
You have my permission
Drizzle on my bun
If that's what you think that I've been missing 

 

[...]

 

Mestuffstoplease drizzled
And then he bid his adieu 
He would soon create a knack 
For convincing cakes of his goo

 

And as he continued

Something caught his eye
It was a Caramel Butter Bundt Cake
And it moved him deep down inside

 

He did say that he would
Conduct experiments in due time
Perhaps this is the one 
He could finally put aside 

 

He nabbed that cake
And wheeled it to the back
He'd save it for later 
But not for a snack 

 

[...]