Coup De Tarte -5- Jelly Lines (Updated 5/4/24)

 

(* = reworked lines)

With much thinking done

And with much to think up

He abandoned his cakes

For an hour to lunch

Many thoughts came

And some he made up

Is jelly really great

Or is it making victims

He thought about pies

How they don't really talk

Could it just be the jelly 

Could it be the pie crust

He made some with eyes *

Still more could be done

But Red Velvets like jelly

So to jelly is love 

Then in came the Caker

And though curious enough

He abandoned his plate

For there's much to be done 

To find all the answers 

Will take close inspection 

So he went back to the cakes 

And his cake-pie inventions *

[Mestuffstoplease]

Good afternoon my cakes
How has it all been
Did they like my jelly show
Do they like the Jelly Man

[Red Velvet cake 3]

Jelly Man
Where have you been
We've been crying your name
So much has been said

[Mestuffstoplease]

Calm thyself cake
But please fill me in
Just start at the top
With all that's happened

[Red Velvet Cake 3]

Well, your show was great
So don't take this the wrong way
But it has stirred some rumors
That have hurt the jelly faith

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Yes, some have lost trust
And no longer do as we say
For only a prince de-man *
Can drive de-mans away *

[Red Velvet Cake 3]

That is indeed true
But I fear it gets worse

Some think their jelly blessing 
Could be a jelly curse

They say that your jelly is not love 
It does not perk them up
It burdens their belly
And seeps through their cake crust

[Mestuffstoplease]

If they cannot handle my jelly
There's nothing to be done
It's their lack of constitution

That turns abundance into glut 

As far as being a de-man
What more could be done
I healed that crumb cake
With my great jelly love

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

About that Jelly Man
Crumb cakes are just crumby
For that's just how they are
But now that he's jellied
Some say he's a tart 

[Red Velvet Cake 3]

But there's good news too
Though some see Jelly Man's victory
As just that Crumb Cake's loss

Many approve of Jelly Man and His goo

And have supported the cause 

For instance
There's the Victorian 
Pannetone and Gateau
And though their flavors may vary
They proclaim the Jelly Man and his Truth

And deny any other belief that's contrary

[Red Velvet 1]

Unfortunately Jelly Man

With great love comes great hate 

Take the Baklava and Basbousa 
That are found in the middle and the east

For though some have been jellied

Some say they're jellied in vain
So to prove what's in their bellies
Those cakes demand that all jelly should be seen

[Mestuffstoplease]

Let each cake think what they think
But each should focus on their own
Even the fakes will be converted 
When I soar in with my jelly cone 

Besides

Baklava and Basbousa
Don't seem to be haters

Only haters of false jelly claims
For they don't bash my jelly flavors

Just those who say they've been jellied in vain *

But what about the Chiffon
The Pineapple and Angel
Do they doubt my jelly's greatness
Or my jelly spiritual

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

The Angel thinks you're the Pieman
But the Pineapple has become a jelly fiend 
And Chiffon thinks the jellied are patsies 
For some sort of jelly conspiracy

[Red Velvet Cake 1]

Jelly man
Is it true
Are you really the Pieman
And should we be worried about your goo

[Mestuffstoplease]

My kind is a mystery
We come here and then you're gone
But just look at recent history
Have I ever steered you wrong

And you remember what I said
Things are hated when they're unknown
But my jelly will be your friend
And you'll never truly be alone

But I must alleviate concerns
So these haters have to go
Just remember I am your savior
And my jelly will make you whole

[Red Velvet Cake 2] *

What about the jelly
You said you'd bring more
Life's no longer exciting
And jelly's all we now adore*

[Mestuffstoplease]

Every portion I give
Will never be enough
But so other cakes believe
I will cover you in jelly love

But I do not have jelly with me
I keep it in my jelly mansion
But I will return swiftly 

Make sure you pay attention

[...]

Mestuffstoplease makes his way to the pastry cart
All the while thinking what he's going to do 
To the Chiffon and the Angel
For hating the Jelly Man and his goo

But before he heads back to the Red Velvets

He wants to get a general cake synopsis 

So he decides to casually snake the aisles

And listen for cake opinions and jelly gossip

The first couple aisles are the same
They are the pricier types of cakes
Unlike like Red Velvets they don't complain
For they're too busy moving place to place

They're not the ones seen on TV
They're too rich for the silver screen
They don't ever visit plate settings 
In fact plates come to them to get a piece

Then he came to those near the Red Velvets 

All of similar fashion and elaborate tastes

Though many seen glimpses of him passing
No one has him seen him jelly any of the cakes

If they spoke of him It was always brief

Sure they wanted jelly but they had cream

And though they respected Red Velvet and their beliefs
Perhaps their jelly high was from their fame

Then he came to those stuck in the middle
Not quite common but not quite great
Some of them saw the Jelly Man as a riddle
For he jellied creations of all kinds in taste  

Though some of these saw his show
Some more would come to see
For they were eager enough to ask 
And the Jelly Man was eager enough to please 

Then he came to the commons
And they were aligned for efficiency
Not one display was erected
Not even one for the Caker's elite *

This is the place that has the most fans
For this is the place that has the most need
So many put their faith in the Jelly Man
Because the Caker does not cream equally

Some say that his jelly's amazing
You have to try it and then soon you'll see
And if you try and then you don't like it
That just means that you didn't truly believe *

He has heard many calls for his jelly
Even from cakes that he's already seen
But that's the burden of having a belly
So many cakes become jelly fiends

Then he came to the little ones

Six boxes high and a dozen in each

But they might as well be sprinkled-covered muffins

For they're too crowded and confused to ever see

So Mestuffstoplease turns around

He has one last stop that he needs to make

He's going to call one cake to account

For his suspicious but accurate claim

[...]

[Mestuffstoplease] 

Hello Angel

I have come to clear the table

I hear you say jelly's the Pieman's staple

Surely you're not one to believe in fables

[Angel]

I only believe in what I see
And your jelly show was disgusting
How you jellied that sick Crumb Cake
Surely you're not one for trusting  

[Mestuffstoplease]

I cured Crumb Cake
And now he is at peace
Perhaps you would like some jelly
It could put your mind at ease

[Angel]

There's something about jelly fiends
It's like they know before they've seen

Like the jelly has instructed their being

Only able to project though they want to receive 

[Mestuffstoplease]

One cake's trash *
Is another cake's treasure *
So do not cast aside *
What you cannot measure *

But you see there's not a maker of pies

And another maker of cakes

In fact there are many who partake

In the composition of Angel food cake *

Besides I never said I was the Pieman
I could be the Caker in disguise

Surely you don't remember the Baker 
Or any of our kind.....

At best you might remember the help
They put you here upon this very shelf...

[Angel Cake]

I am not a cake to be deceived

Like the Dump Cake or Chantilly 

So stop with the blasphemy

I won't be swayed by lies and chicanery

[Mestuffstoplease]

If you won't trust me
Then who will you trust
For my kind doesn't stop
And usually talk with cake crust

[Angel Cake]

I admit that I could be wrong
But I don't like the jellied that I see
So just leave me to be alone
I will be content with my maker's cream 

[..]

He knew what needed to be done

But in it he took no delight

For he esteemed Angel cake's wisdom

And his interesting jelly insights*

Still he put him on his cart

And without any delay

He raced over to the Chiffon

But not to conversate

For Mestuffstoplease believes

You cannot reason with their kind

For terrorists and conspiracists

Are of one and the same corrupt mind *

Then he sped to the front

And stopped by the discount cart

And placed them on the top shelf

Where their ideas wouldn't get very far 

It begrieved Mestuffstoplease

Because he believes in a fair price

But all the cakes have to know*

Which cakes are not quite right*

Then he went back to the Red Velvets
And without saying another word
He used his clear tri tip jelly squeezer
To jelly his preferred 

But this time it was different 
For he jellied them from above
He did it as a signal 
That they were his chosen ones

Then he was going to grab some coffee
And think about all that has happened 
But before he strolled off 
One of the cakes started to ask him

[Red Velvet Cake 2]

Wait! Before you go
Are you and the Caker the same
How many of you are there
And is this some sort of jelly game *

[Mestuffstoplease]

Take any game you played
Then times it by ten
Square it by ten
And then times it again

Does any of that make sense
Probably not
Just enjoy your cake cream
And your new jelly lot

But now I must be off 
But I will be coming back
Just promote my jelly laws
And remember everything I've said 

[...]