Finding Calvin Part IV - 2 - Collaterhole (?)

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Finding Calvin Part IV - 2 - A Master Unknown - Collaterhole (?)

A woman approaches him from the East 
As he was looking at the vastness of the West

Fiona:  That's a big boat.  Do you operate that thing by yourself?

[...]

She was a beautiful redhead
In her early twenties or late teens
With enthusiasm that age dissipates
At least with most women that he's seen

[...]

(Calvin remembers the accent that he studied, and quickly conjures up a repartee)

Calvin: I am Ukraine. 

Fiona: what!?

(Calvin realizing the misstep, decides to play it as straight as can be.)

Calvin: I'm kidding...I've sailed some.

[...]

And Calvin wasn't lying 
He sailed a bit when he was young
He had access to many vessels
Thanks to his friends at his father's country club

[...]

(She seems uncertain, eyeing his yacht and his person)

Calvin: There wouldn't happen to be a jeweler around here would there?

Fiona: are ya kidding? No, I'm afraid not. You probably won't find one of those until you hit Edinburgh. Or are you here for the aliens?

Calvin: No, I don't think so.  

Fiona: yeah, from the look of it I didn't think so either.  Scientists usually don't come on Yachts...

Fiona: so what are doing you here if you don't mind me asking? 

Calvin: well it's a long story but in short I'm trying to make it to Stirling.

Fiona: ah, well you have a way to go.  

If you don't mind me asking, why do you need a jeweler? 

Calvin: I have a couple small diamonds I'd like to exchange for cash (Calvin felt it unwise to reveal the true amount). 

Fiona: Ah, well no jeweler, but If anyone can help you out, it's the man in the high castle. He's a nice lad if you want to go meet him. 

[...]

Calvin peers the path's dark hole
To the ascending forestry that awaits
To the glistening parapet's abode
And to its unknown pearly gates

[...]

Calvin: It seems worth a walk I suppose.  

(Calvin reluctant but strapped decides to trust the mysterious lass.)

[...]

She had an aloofness like Dave
And a tomfoolery that begged invitation
Plus it didn't hurt that she was attractive
An 8 plus according to Calvin's equation

[...]

As they approach the treeline
Calvin notices a wild dog
Nose deep in a deer carcass
From the deer's stomach to its balls

[...]

 (She whistles and yells at the dog "Lorcan! Lorcan!)

(The dog runs to their side and Calvin does not dare crop his hand, but let's it dangle)

Fiona: He's just an opportunist (she smiles playfully at Calvin)

Golden retrievers are not as pure as everyone thinks. In fact, they're actually the product of crossbreeding.  I guess you could say they're really a muggle (she smiles at Calvin).

Are you a Harry Potter fan? 

Calvin: Actually yes

Fiona: it's been incredibly good for Scotland-- and the UK as a whole I think. It created quite the stir. Why are you heading to Stirling?

Calvin:  I'm not sure yet. 

Fiona: Ah, a lone wanderer.  Well you shouldn't travel at night. There's been a lot of disappearances of late. Some say the Earth Spirit is making a resurgence. Some say it's the aliens. Some say it's both.

Calvin: what do you say? 

Fiona: I say it's easy to get lost in such a vast land. Not everyone has a broomstick (flirtatiously smiles at Calvin)

[Calvin sees a strange symbol on the ground which appears to be outlined with oats]

Fiona:  Travelers think that they're paying homage to fairies but really they're just feeding the unicorns.  But shhh—don't let the fairies know that.  They've been known to follow the breeze and they like hiding in the trees: and they're not as nice as everyone thinks.  (Fiona speculatively jests)

Oh, and don't eat the berries. Some are fine and well but some are more venomous than the adders. The whites, yellows, and greens are particularly risky.
No, I wouldn't chance any of them.
Some people think because they see a deer eat them they are fine and well. But the deer have a different constitution than we do. They can take more abuse...
One time I saw a deer run off a ridge. It must have been a 30-foot drop. It tumbled a bit but it got back up. I don't know what it was running from though. Nothing hunts them--except for foxes and golden eagles, but that's only if they're weak or a wee bit too small to be on the mountaintops.

Calvin: no bears or wolves?

Fiona: no they were driven to extinction a long time ago. By the king's decree. No, the only thing you have to worry about are the snakes and the cows.

Calvin: cows?

Fiona: aigh, they're the most dangerous animal in this land. No, you don't want to be caught between a calf and its mother. Deadly. 

(They come upon a large tree blocking the path) 

Fiona: that wasn't here an hour ago. But trees fall I suppose.   

[...]

Maybe it was an opportunity to impress
Or maybe it was kindly considered
But Calvin felt possessed.
By the beating in his chest and mind's careful tinctures

[...]

Fiona: wow you are quite the strong man aren't ya. (She playfully grabs his arms. Calvin playfully grabs hers back.)

Calvin: you're not too bad yourself.

[...]

She had a look of voraciousness In her eyes
It's as if Calvin startled the beast
Calvin returned her intended disguise
And approached slowly to comely appease

She was a voracious lover
Perhaps the vast land starved her of options
It's as if she's never known another
And as if each pump filled her with oxygen

After the engagement
Calvin playfully bit her ear
To firmly establish reacquaintance
With the personality that he endeared

Calvin was surprised
For she quickly re-established pace
With trivial conversational points
As if their encounter never actually took place

[...]

Fiona: The forest can be quiet.  It's even worse by the shore. 

Calvin:  The sea seems tainted. 

Fiona: Aigh, there used to be fish, but the fish have left.  Something sordid has died in those waters.  With the fish gone, many people have gone as well.  They're still around I suppose, but everyone sticks to their own.  And there's enough open space to ensure that's possible.

Calvin:  What about tourism?

Fiona:  We get backpackers from time to time—and the occasional stray (she speculatively smiles at Calvin)...

But this just a go-between for most.

Calvin:  The grain back there.  That was a backpacker? 

Fiona:  More than likely.  But people here can be just as superstitious about this land as people who visit.  They're not wrong though.  

[...]

After a few more minutes
They came to a dark wall with a small gate
It seemed to be the side of the castle's bailey
And she enters with no hesitation upon her face

[...]

Calvin: shouldn't we approach from the front? 

Fiona: you could say I'm a pretty big deal around here (she playfully smiles at Calvin)

[...]

As they walked through the grounds
There was no glistening as seen from the beach
Just looming shadows swaying about
From the surrounding Fir and gigantic Sessile trees 

[...]

Fiona: Look what I found brother.  

Fraser: and who might we have here. 

[...]

On the castle terrace sat a shrewd young man
Slightly older than his sister
With a laptop and pipe in his hands
Listening to music a little louder than a whisper

[...]

Fiona: This is Calvin. (They have a brief back and forth in Gaelic)

Fraser: Well, Calvin. Have a seat. I hear you want to trade a couple diamonds for cash? 

Calvin: Ideally yes

Fraser:  Pounds, euros, or dollars?

Calvin: Pounds.

[...]

He gives Calvin a nod 
And passes him the pipe
Calvin didn't have to surmise
That what he found he would like

[...]

Fraser: I surveyed your yacht.  It's very big.  I find it odd that such a rich man would wind up here...

We get strays that pass through, but no one as rich as you.  

[Calvin passes back the pipe back which Fiona quickly snatches]

Calvin: trust me this will not be a habit.

Fraser: So why did you come? And why did you park at our jetty?

Calvin: I apologize I did not know that it was your jetty.

Fraser: It's the only jetty and we have the only castle.  

Calvin: Where's your boat?

Fraser:  Parents are on holiday...Are you the only one aboard?

Calvin: I was separated from my host.   There was a storm...he and a few others were lost

Fiona:  Ah, that's terrible! 

Fraser:  Thar she blows. 

Fiona:  That's right—it could have been old Nessy or a narwhal (speculatively laughs)

Fraser:  It's true I'm afraid. The seas here are strange.  People forget that there's a whole nother world beneath them that sees them.

Fiona: I'll be back I'm going to go fetch some cakes. 

[Fraser says something in Gaelic Fiona nods]

[...]

Fraser:  So, let's see these diamonds

[Calvin proffers three for examination]

Fraser: Ah, they're pretty aren't they.  We'll get Fiona to weigh them.  I'll get an estimate on Google. 

Calvin: Sounds good

Fraser:  Fiona loves her dog.  Has she told you about its nature?

Calvin:  Yes.

Fraser:  Yes, she tells all our guests.  She lacks a sense of novelty...

She's pretty thought isn't she?

Calvin: She is. 

[he passes the pipe back to Calvin]

Fraser:  I used to be paranoid to recognize it when we were younger.  My friends used to tease me about it.  I can appreciate it now though.  Still, it's weird, isn't it?  

Calvin:  I can't say.  

[passes the pipe back to Fraser]

Fraser:  I think growing up with a sister provides perspective...

(Calvin caught a curious expression upon Fraser's face, what he interpreted to be smug contempt) 

I like your hoodie.  It's very nice.  

Calvin:  It's comfy.  

Fraser:   Did you know that the Jews were considered property of the Crown?  This provided a great deal of protection but also provided the Crown opportunities for great exploitation.  

[...]

Calvin was uncertain of its direction
Nor the point that was in the making
But he found himself really high
So he was open to its undertaking

[...]

It's true.  Jews were relegated as moneylenders because Christian practices forbade them from charging interest on loans at the time—though, many found ways to skirt such impositions within the culture.  Still, officially it was only the Jews who could provide loans.  And because the culture hated the Jews for killing Jesus, King John found it easy to use the Jews as a scapegoat, often levying heavy taxes and forcing loans that he refused to pay back—he even took their property and tortured many for vast sums...but stolen water is sweet (He gives Calvin a suspicious look)

[He repacks his pipe]

Yes, I suppose we all go through it--the Jews especially.  It's amazing how one man can cause so much drama.  For far too long they have been a powerful people without the power.  It's good to see the tides change...what's good for the goose is good for the gander

Calvin:  I suppose

Fraser:  people get it wrong, don't they?  It's not divide and conquer: It's divide and synthesize.  Why destroy when you can repurpose?

We were repurposed too. They called it the Clearances.  Many were driven from the Highlands. Most of the people here are descendants of that decision.

Calvin:  What happened?

Fraser:  A couple hundred years ago many clan chiefs turned Anglican--seduced by the lifestyle.  In time they realized they could charge more rent, so they did.  And some realized it was more lucrative to foster sheep than people.  So they did.  But it was a process long in the making.  For the crown had a certain disdain for the savages in the highlands.  But in his majesty's defense, the disdain was well-deserved.   

Calvin:  Why do they say "God save the queen if there's kings too?"

Fraser:  It depends who's in power.  

Calvin:  What happened to the savages?

Some were forcefully removed.  Some fled the mainland, landing on the many isles.  Some fled here to eke out a living fishing.  But the fish have left.  

Calvin:  Your family seemed to do well.

Niall:  Aigh. My great great grandfather was a Lord.  Our removal was facilitated through more legal and economic means.  We did not lose like others lost.  Our adjustment was a modest downgrade.  

Calvin:  I can't imagine what you transitioned from.  

Fraser:  Yes, a castle is a castle I suppose...   

Now the wool industry needs subsidies, but life is arbitrage.  What can you do?

Calvin:  Stolen water is sweet, as you said.  

Fraiser: So tell me what is it that you do?

(Calvin thought about the real answer.  But he thought that it would sound a bit absurd)

Calvin: I move money

(Calvin perceives disguised contempt in Fraser's eyes)

What is it that you do?

Fraser: I have a YouTube channel and a blog—and Fiona has an Only Fans.  It's her sheep farming I suppose.

Do you find it ironic that a man who moves money now needs it.

Calvin:  I suppose.  You said your parents are on holiday.  What do they do?

Fraser:  He moves money (smiles sardonically).  I don't know.  Not really.  He has hobbies.  When he's around me and Fiona stay in Glasgow. 

[Fiona arrives with some sweet treats for them to eat]

Fiona: no cakes but we have scones. With the Tayberry. 

[Fiona and Fraser say something in Gaelic]

Fiona:  Did you tell him about the gay frogs yet?

Fraser: Ah, yes, First they came for the frogs and no one said anything.  Then they came for me (sniggers as he sips his giant camping drinking container)...something like that.  Yes, apparently male frogs can lay eggs now.  I believe it's called a soft rollout.  

[Fiona grabs the idle pipe
And grasps it like a gerbil about to nibble its nesting] 

Calvin:  Trans frogs—so what?

Fraser:  Ha-ha, trans frogs.  You are funny.  It's groundwork, Calvin.  Familiarity. All power is grassroots at the beginning.  But this distortion of reality is otherly.  It's so unnatural it has to be foreign.  But I'm sure you know this.  The frogs are just the beginning, aren't they?

Calvin:  Tyranny of the trans?

Fraser:  This man has jokes.  You know It's not about transitioning species Calvin.  It's about distorting reality, controlling perspective.

Calvin:  It seems juvenile to me. 

Fraser:  There's a theory that the aliens are using humans to explore the parameters of God through art and skill.  

Calvin:  Aren't aliens smarter than we are?

Fraser:  Aigh.  They're not testing intellect, they're testing God's or the Earth sprit's grace.  Maybe they're having too much fun with their science and this trans frog experiment is just the latest example.   Maybe we're just the frontline in a war that we don't even know is going on? 

 Do you know of Alex Jones.  Have you ever heard of Pizza Gate?

[Fiona seems to remember something and leaves]

Calvin:  I have heard enough to know.

Fraser:  Yes.  It's probably far worse here.  But we might never know.  Though the land here is vast, it's not as open as it may seem.  People tend to disappear far too often.  Many believe that it's not just the shadows on the ground but the shadows in the sky that cause it.  Reporters would have you believe that most fall in a dark hole and can't get out.  Sinkholes are becoming more prevalent with time—at least that's the official rhetoric. 

How do you like your scone?

Calvin:  It's delicious.  Thank you.

Fraser:  Yes, that's tayberry jam...  

Like the Golden Retriever, it too is a product of human intervention.  

Calvin:  What do you mean?

Fraser:  Fiona didn't tell you?  That's usually the first thing she mentions.  She must have been distracted.  [He gives Calvin a suspicious look]. 

The golden retriever is a crossbreed.  A combination of the Tweed Water Spaniel, Bloodhound, and Yellow-Colored Retriever, I think.  The Tweed Water Spaniel is now extinct though, just like the creator of the Golden Retriever, Lord Tweedmouth.   

Calvin:  Interesting.  Why bother?

Fraser:  The crossbreed?  It's said that he wanted to make a more suitable hunting dog for the Scottish terrain, but we get all sorts of fancy ideas with our time, don't we?  I suppose a free mind can go anywhere...

You know In theory you can create an entirely fictitious reality with words.  But there are things you can never really change.  Like themes.  Though the words may change, themes remain constant...   

But real life is rather messy and anti-climactic, isn't it?  For most It's not quite a romance and it's not quite a horror, but if they're lucky, there's enough suspense to keep it interesting.  

Calvin:  I suppose.  

Fraser: Aigh, I suppose people just find meaning in retrospect.   It's like that one movie Tom Cruise was in...I forgot the name of it, "Someday my dream will come.  But [sic] one night you'll wake up and discover it never happened...cause you were never going to do it anyway."  (Collateral, Tom Cruise) 

Have you ever seen the Great Gatsby.  The protagonist is the most boring character in the film.  He's what is called a catalyst or observer.   A crutch used for the exploration of a world otherwise unexplorable...

I knew a lot of Nicks at university.  I bet you're a Nick.  A go-between, a stage prop.  Or maybe you're a spy.

Calvin:  You nailed it.  

Fraser:  Aigh, you're a good sport.  I'm a big fan of words. I like to parse them. Analyze them. I find that words are chosen to not only clarify but obfuscate, and sometimes they reveal more than the speaker wants to convey.  That's why figurative language is so dangerous.  This is particularly the problem with metaphors and a good turn of phrase.  Such misunderstandings can be quite catastrophic.  My professor said that during WWII the allies misunderstood an intercepted radio transmission by the Germans leading to the bombing of a Vatican protected abbot instead of hostile forces.  The mistake has been attributed to many reasons; stress, fatigue, poor audio quality, translator ability...
Context, context, context.  I guess we'll never really know right?  Who knows, maybe he just snapped one day or maybe he was just some sort of psycho.   

Calvin: Interesting theory

Fraser:  Are you alright?  You look unsettled.

Calvin:  I'm just a little nauseous 

[Fiona returns for a brief Gaelic banter with Fraser]

Fraser: Ironic, Anglican—so close to angel.  Words are funny, aren't they?  It makes you wonder what you can do with them doesn't it?  I forgot who said it: we must not let our thoughts be molded by the words at their disposal.  

[...]

Though Calvin knew it was Nietzsche
He would withhold his understanding
For this whole conversation reeked of contempt
And he was forgetting why it was even worth having

[...]

I have to read between the lines with you, don't I?

Calvin:  Lines create order.  If no one had lines, I suppose we'd have Clearances everywhere. 

Fraser:  Ah there you are. A 1000 years glitter on those scales, don't they Calvin?  Aigh, as Ice Cube says, the game is whack...

Calvin: ...Is that scale coming soon?

[...]

His sister peeks through the entryway
With Fraser saying something in stark Gaelic
Then she disappeared quite vexingly 
With emotion suspicious and with merit

[...]

Fraser: Oh, this is the one. 

You like this? (turns up the volume on the laptop)

it's M.I.A. Paper Planes, it's fire -- as you Americans say. He gets up with assertive calm.

Calvin: It's catchy. 

Fraser: isn't it though

[...]

Fraser stands up calm and cool 
Walks to where Fiona was glaring
Reaches his hand around the corner
To brandish a rifle that demanded one's wearing

[...]

Fraser: Tell me, Calvin, In what context does one interpret "durchgekommen" on the side of your yacht? 

Calvin: I have no idea.

Fraser: you see Calvin I find that peculiar given the insignia displayed on your sleeve...

No, you're not fooling anyone with your accent.  Usually, I'd wait for the jelly to kick in, but I want to relish this one.  It's not often that I get to shoot a Nazi.  Tell the Furor I said hello you Nazi pig!

[...]

Before Fraser knew it
Three bullets went through him
Two in the chest and one in the head
Like that one movie Tom Cruise was in 

[...)

(Calvin thought of crafty conjuring)

Calvin: Aigh-she-me-na-ger-sha-na (Calvin loudly mutters)

(Calvin tried to replicate the Gaelic Fraser was using.  To try to lure in Fiona or anyone else who may have heard the familiar but not-so-fine tuning)

But he thought of what Fraser spoke
About the jelly that he ingested
And he didn't know what lied unknown
Nor why his stomach was increasingly upsetted

(Cavin quickly grabs the diamonds and hunting rifle and rushes to a nearby room and shuts the door lies flat on the floor with his foot as stiff as a peg leg keeping foot there as a clamp for anyone else tempting to barge in. He feels that he's becoming paralyzed. But he keeps his gun at the ready should anyone try to enter. Calvin no longer tried to maintain his gaze at the door but stares at the ceiling waiting for what seemed like hours. Finally he slowly regained ability and slyly open the door returning from whence he came.

[...]

But he became reluctant on that path
For that is the most predictable way
So he traverses the castle ground
But would feel an allure to an isolated place

There was a very small building
A little distance from the main keep
Perhaps a gardener's cottage 
Though no garden would he now see
 
A brownstone door appealed to him
And he felt an inner pulling to take a peek
For reasons unknown he'd kick the door in
And enter the dark hole that he would see

He would stumble upon a staging area
With a strange alter and symbols between
Perhaps this was one of the father's hobbies
Though no wood working materials did he see

He realized he was in a dungeon 
As he proceeded somewhat reluctantly 
And each cell held something memorable
Though in context it was quite disturbing

The first cell had a lot of shoes. A heterogeneous mixture of all different sizes.
The next cell had an array of knick-knacks, and random adornments one could perceive as prizing.
The third cell had at least a dozen bicycles, and they all seemed they were worth the finding, at leisure or at speed, each one could be deemed worthy of their riding)

All of a sudden Calvin hears A deep " muahahahahaha," perhaps spoken from his rear and at a crisp audible level as if piped directly into his ear. Calvin backs against the nearest wall, with his pistol drawn at his hip towards the open walkway just in case whatever it was decided to come at him. He felt paralyzed by fear keeping a steady aim.  He would hasten the way eventually, after much time waiting once again to be brave.

He would ponder what took place
How he was clearly led there by deceit
What he found was quite unnerving
How many others once failed to leave

Perhaps there was meaning 
Perhaps he was part of their destiny
Maybe he was used by a higher power
As the castle's departing Grace's utility 

For the record:

I'm certainly anti-Nazi. They had a lot of great accomplishments, like the Audubon and 100 percent employment, but jobs don't equal wealth and the Autobahn was actually being constructed prior to Hitler. At least that's according to my memory. And even if I Googled it who cares obviously the History channel and/or my professor googled it first.

On a personal note, I am sensitive to the purported conflicts overseas; and I support all my Jewish and Ukrainian brethren (I'm actually part Jew!--But I'm not sure if I'm Ukranian 😕--but I empathize with their struggle, as I too have been bullied most of my life!).  And though I'm not sure how I feel about Putin, I think Hamas are a bunch of jerks.  Hamas should stop launching rockets and "get a job"--as so many American mothers and fathers have to reiterate.  Adapt to the ruling power or move, Hamas! Israel should have a policy like we do in America: love it or leave it!  

On a serious note, I think it's obvious that Israel is the good guy.  #IstandWithIsrael

I find it distasteful to add these final thoughts, but I don't want people to conflate story parallels and story elements with bias.  Remember: the frog is symbolic of Americans—as we learned in Part III from Xao's ethnocentric disparagements--and if you look at the context you will find it to make perfect sense with the subsequent Alex Jones conspiracies mentioned.  I'm not sure what would represent the Jews since the lion is taken (maybe the ram?), but I don't have the need to explore that possibility—at this time.  But who knows where Calvin will end up next!  Hopefully he finds his way to Stirling eventually! 

 Finally, the historical references herein are more reflective of character bias and story development.  If the characters distorted the reality, please forgive them! I will tell them to Google better in the future!  Please read responsibly!
(For instance: I'm aware that all dogs are technically crossbred--except for the first dogs made in the garden of Eden obviously. But I'm not going to include facts if they dilute the story. Just Google anything suspect)

Unsolved mysteries and questions: 

Did Frasier truly not have any idea of his father's hobbies? 

Was Fiona bait?

Or did she just see an opportunity?

Did the brother and sister perhaps go rogue? Were the parents the first victims—did the castle even belong to them?

Or did both the children and the father have sordid hobbies?--Perhaps shared?

Are their parents in one of those sinkholes?

Are the many possible owners of the dungeon paraphernalia? 

What mental illnesses could the brother and sister be classified with?

Has Fraser's dubious mental health interfered with any plausible theory that he conjured?
If so--what crumbs of truth perhaps could be perpetuated by more laudable sources in entries to come?

Was Calvin's happy ending destined, perhaps serving a higher power--or did Calvin once again turn lemons into lemonade? Could it be both? (remember, he got to copulate and he got a nifty new rifle—though he was temporarily poisoned.  Still, he has a great story to tell!  Perhaps Calvin will be more conscientious with any future clothing apparel he chooses to wear from the commander's on-board selection)

*$* - My Hamas rant reeks of Tim Dillon but less prolonged and brilliant.  I cannot deny that I recognized the similarity after writing it.  I am a big fan of his impromptu rants.