Finding Calvin Part. 1 - 5- The Many Colors Of B

 

Thanks to the orders procreated 
His jelly's now on the rise 
And with so much anticipation 
His star finally gets to shine 
For there's a psychologist visit 
And his Pink Fairy designs 
But will they believe in his depiction 
And his colorful disguise 

Always a man about his business 
He attunes his frame of mind 
For it's about his crafty visage 
And the ingredients he hides 
For he's a man who pays attention 
To all the little things inside 
Now it's time for jelly's exposition 
And the sweetness he's contrived 

(...)

He wears white Converse slip-ons
With lime green chino shorts
And a blueberry polo
Plus colorful shades by Dior

He was a spitting image
Of somebody from the shore
And a taste in the mouth
His father would abhor

But he's not on the farmstead
Nor sour milk to be endured
He's now a star in motion
With appointments he can't ignore

He pulls into the parking lot
And he exits his blueberry ride
But he locks himself out 
But he keeps the spare set by his side

Upon entering the waiting room
He felt that something wasn't right
Though he had the right psychologist
He was too big for her designs

For some chairs were a bit odd
And lacked the size he had in mind
And the Crayola dotted carpet
Confirmed what he would soon find

After confirming his appointment
On the electronic sign-in site
He found a seat with ideal filling
As the beans filled his round behind

He was starring at a wall
With a painting he somewhat liked
It was a picture of a ball
With a child beneath its greater height

Then he found himself a cow
Behind a boarded fence design
While looking at the foreground
And a milk pail on the other side

Then he found one that disturbed him
It was a pie up in the sky
With no cloud there to speak of
Just the brightness from up on high

Then his name was sweetly called 
And he found himself inside
Seated on a bluish couch
With the psychologist in plain sight

[...]

[Mestuffstoplease]

You're not quite what I expected. 

[Psychologist]

You're not quite what I expected.
What would you like to talk about

[Mestuffstoplease]

Why do you have a picture of a pie on your wall?

[Psychologist]

Do you not like pie?

[Mestuffstoplease]

I make them.  I bake them.  But it disturbs me to see one floating in the sky.

[Psychologist]

Do you not appreciate surrealism?

[Mestuffstoplease]

I have no problems with fantasy.  In fact that's one of the reasons why I'm here. 

[Psychologist]

Go on

[Mestuffstoplease]

But why a pie and not a cake

[Psychologist]

Why does it bother you

[Mestuffstoplease]

Because it doesn't make any sense.  And everything always makes sense.

[Psychologist]

Interesting.  Would a cake in the sky make sense

[Mestuffstoplease]

You're missing the point I was trying to make

[Psychologist]

And what's that?

[Mestuffstplease]

Why is the pie in the sky?

[Psychologist]

Why do you think the pie's in the sky?

[Mestuffstoplease]

I don't know, I'm not the one who hung it up on my wall.

[Psychologist]

Let's change the subject.  Tell me about your fantasies.

[Mestuffstoplease]

I like Bundtcakes.

[Psychologist]

What do you like about Bundt cakes

[Mestuffstoplease]

I like the ripples.  I like the hole I get to fill when I'm with it.  I like the glaze covering.  I like it's durability

[Psychologist]

There are more destructive fantasies to have. Why do you feel compelled to explore this one.

[Mestuffstoplease]

It's interfering with my work.  I bake cakes.  I can't bake cakes if I'm constantly thinking about being with one.

[Psychologist]

When did the fantasy start?

[Mestuffstoplease]

Recently.  While I was working. It came out of nowhere.

[Psychologist]

Did your mother bake cakes

[Mestuffstoplease]

Every mother bake cakes

[Psychologist]

Did you like her Bundt Cakes.

[Mestuffstoplease]

I loved them

[Psychologist]

Have you ever heard of aversion therapy.

[Mestuffstoplease]

Briefly

[Psychologist]

Here's what I want you to do.  I want you to wear a thick rubber band around your wrist.  And when your mind starts to wander I want you to snap it.  It should refocus your attention. 

[Mestuffstoplease]

That's all

[Psychologist]

That's all

[...]

Thinking he said enough
To establish insanity
He bid his thanks and gave her a hug
Then steadfastly took his leave

But what was that thing about his mom
Doesn't everyone's mother bake a cake
And doesn't everyone fantasize
About its creamy frost-tipped taste

He found it utterly pointless
To ruminate on insecurities
So he quickly adjusted his focus
To his most current pressing need

He would quickly grab an apple
Almonds and a protein drink
Then drive over to the Pink Fairy
To better understand what he should think

Upon exiting the corner store
He felt the great wealth disparity
For at every stop he was adored
Like Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

So this is what it's like 
To feel like royalty
Every bus stop's a small parade
They're all lined up for him to see

But he'd have to change his focus
As he approaches the Pink Fairy
He has a mission that he must tend to
And must be disciplined and discreet

So he could maintain his secret
He parked at the nearby roller rink
Because he wasn't sure what was known
Or what the detectives would choose to think

For he wants to have options
Should they know about his Bundt cake thing
So in order to play it safe
He must come off as somewhat ashamed

For if they know his location
At the time Baker Brian sealed his fate
Then he'd have to have an excuse for lying
Hence his closeted homosexuality 

And if they spot the two on camera
Then they had a secret Bundt cake fling
Unless they see him on the veranda 
That's when he would plead insanity 

As he enters the Pink Fairy
He keeps a lookout for what is seen
He takes the elevator to the terrace
And approaches the rooftop maitre d'

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm sorry to bother you, but I think my wallet was stolen by the parapet the other night, and I was wondering if you could check the camera.  

[Waiter]

We don't have cameras up here to check.  It's a privacy concern. 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Are you sure?

[Waiter]

Yeah.  That's what we're told to say, so I'm assuming it's true.  

[Mestuffstoplease]

Okay.  Thanks anyway. 

[...]

He decides to take the staircase 
To see if anything can be gleaned
On his way to every landing
He takes a close inspective peek

When he reaches the very bottom
He's content with what he's seen
So he makes his way past the VIP lounge
To the night club's office balcony 

He knocks on the office door
And casually but anxiously waits
Then a spiffy man says hello
How can I help you out today

[Spiffy Man]  

Hello, how can I help you out today

[Mestuffstoplease]

I think my wallet got swiped last night
Can you check the camera footage

[Spiffy Man]

Where do you think it got stolen

[Mestuffstoplease]

On the rooftop veranda.  

[Spiffy Man]

There's nothing I can do.  We don't have cameras up there.

[Mestuffstoplease]

You know maybe it was the bar

[Spiffy Man]

For privacy reasons, we only have cameras at the entrance, behind the bar, and here in the office.
There's really nothing that I can do.

[Mestuffstoplease]

Oh, okay.  Thanks anyway. 

[...]

Satisfied but not content
He still wants to make sure
So he mosies over to the bar
To see if anything can't be ignored

He peers behind the bar 
And looks for camera designs
That's when he received an odd look
And was asked what he was trying to find

[Bartender]

What are you trying to find?

[Mestuffstoplease]

Sorry to bother you, but I think my wallet was swiped here the other night.  Is there any way you can check the cameras?

[Bartender]

At most it catches the bar top.  Sorry. 

[Mestuffstoplease]

No worries

[...]

Mestuffstoplease takes a seat
And orders himself a drink
He wants to ruminate 
Before he takes his leave 

He took a look around 
There sat those who day drank
And much like buds yet to blossom
They were in a vegetative state

They'd all eventually leave 
And some would buddy-up
And some buds would flower
And some buds would be picked in love

And much like the blueberry plant
It depends on the environment
Does it provide the right setting
Does it provide proper nutrients

Some will turn green
The more they conversate
Some will turn red
And some will turn pink

But the sweetest are the bluest
For what they hold on to
And you can expedite their sweetness
By making them really cool

But always avoid the wrinkly 
And the ones with reddish hues
They're the ones to be forgotten
For they're diseased and rotten food

Perhaps he was mistaken
But did he reason to a truth
Is it really that outrageous 
To think that people are berries too

As he wonders in contemplation
He sees a robot on the move 
It was carrying a bar tray
Maneuvering behind the bar top's view

Then he thought about technology 
And the future of warfare too
War would be more like chess
With robots always on the move

Then he saw a strong but tiny hand
Reaching from underneath its view
It grabbed a cocktail glass 
That's when he finally came into view

They had a midget waiter

Wearing platform shoes
With orange pleather pants
And a pink fishnet t-shirt too

Mestuffstoplease was astonished
For what he was put to task to do
He moved with grace and efficiency
Not the way he was designed to do

[Dave]

Don't stare too long, he might bite

[Mestuffstoplease]

I apologize.  I didn't realize I was staring.

[Dave]

His name's Tom Pouce, but we call him Poucee.  He's from the Netherlands.  He came over here on visa and he never left.  He says he likes the weather,  plus there's an eclectic bunch of people here, which makes it easier for him to fit in, ironically. People are apparently really tall in Europe.

[Mestuffstoplease]

Oh, interesting

[Dave]

I'm Dave, and you are

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm...B

[Dave]

Like the letter, cute

[...]

Mestuffstoplease eyes avert

To his corner-eye view
He notices an odd fit
For this colorful venue

It was a man in a suit
Sitting in the corner all alone
He sips on his Manhattan
While looking out at everyone

[Dave]

That's Lamington.  He usually just has a few drinks, eats cake, and leaves.  We can go talk to him if you want.

[Mestuffstoplease]

Has anyone approached him

[Dave]

Certainly, but it doesn't lead anywhere, except for cake and conversation, of course.  But he has to be dabbling, at least just a bit.  People don't come here for the cake.

[Mestuffstoplease]

What does he do?

[Dave]

I have no idea.  And we can't ask.  It's sort of a game. He says that personal lives are rife with emotion and make up for boring conversation amongst men.  So we usually just talk about the world and interesting insights.  But from his mannerisms and speech, he's obviously highbrow.  And he probably inherited a vineyard or two.  Do you want to go talk to him

Grab your drink, let's go say hi.

[Dave]

Mr. Lamington

How are you today sir

[Lamington]

Hello Dave
Who is your friend

[Dave]

This is B, like the letter

[Lamington]

It's a pleasure

Have a seat if you will

Join me

[...]

Mestuffstoplease and Dave sit
Across from Mr. Lamington
Dave opens up with some quips 
To get Mr. Lamington laughing

[Dave]

How are your Go skills coming along, sir

[Lamington]

Wonderful.  Truth be told, I only play it with you and Tom, but it's an excellent game.  Have you played Go, B?

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm not much of a board game fan, but I have played chess in the past.  

[Lamington]

I find that unlike Chess with its aristocratic refinements, Go is emblematic of the democratic ethos.  For with the unpredictability of each piece's significance, every piece can be seen as just as important as the next—regardless of its strategic purpose—rendering your key pieces cloaked in obscurity.  It's truly an American's game.  What do you think, B 

[Mestuffstoplease]

I suppose if you can make something out of stationary pieces on a gameboard, then you'd do well imagining what could be otherwise.  

[Lamington]

Well-put

[Dave]  

It certainly would be better for the kids to imagine something themselves, instead of relying on a video game developer to do it for them

[Lamington]

Indeed.  Truth be told, in whatever game you play, once you learn the art and science behind it, you're better off investing your time applying your newfound knowledge toward more profitable endeavors.  This is America, after all.  

[Mestuffstoplease]

I couldn't agree with you more

[...]

Dave excited for conversation
Yells across the dance floor
He beckoned for Tom Pouce
To bring cake and his Go game board

[Dave]

Poucee, bring us cake and Go. Now!

[...]

Poucee takes a guess at B's order

With gas lift chair in hand 

He'd need it as an underperformer

For the game of Go with Lamington 

B would be a key lime pie fan

For reasons he wouldn't understand

It was more of a slip of the tongue

It wouldn't define him as a man

Lamington would choose vanilla 

While Dave would be a carrot cake courtesan

And Tom would opt for strawberry shortcake

For that just seemed part of the bigger plan

When he came with their desserts

He brought his Go board for Lamington 

And they ate cake between each turn

While Dave directed the conversation 

There was an aloofness to Dave 

He seemed both unaware and in the know

He was sweet with a detached clarity 
And his ignorance put on quite a show

If would be safe to assume
There'd be no belief he'd see as true
Except for a belief pattern 
Counterposing whatever you held onto 

He'd be one of those pieces
Lamington obliquely referred to 
Capable of causing change
Wherever it was decided to move

Tom came off as stiff
Though he wasn't at all uptight
He understood how times were founded
So he watched his steps and guarded his mind

Lamington was a puzzle
For at times he was rather brash
But he exuded sophistication 
Though he was reserved unless he was asked 

If people were blueberry bushes 

Dave would be a Rabbiteye

For with his warm and lively nature 

He's the biggest one in sight

Lamington would be a Highbush

For he'd do better in northern climes

His thick skin and hardy nature

Would preserve him through harder times

Tom would be a Lowbush 

For he's not the cultivated kind

Though he's sweet he is still wild

And not one to be found inside

The music started to change
And people slowly trickled in 
All of a sudden Dave asked B
If he wanted to be his wingman

B was rather blindsided 
He didn't plan on making friends
But he was more than intrigued
By the thought of Mr. Lamington

So he decided he would oblige
Because he wanted to keep an in 
And turning Dave down 
Could be turning from Lamington

He tried to do the Wop 
To avoid intimacy with a man
But he received a hand in the face
By a stranger who bluntly said

[Stranger]

Unsolicited dance is rape!

[...]

He decided to call it quits
And he walked by where they previously sat

Lamington and Tom Pouce were gone
And there was no sign they were coming back

As he was walking to his car 

He thought of people in their truth 

And if people resemble berries 

Then people also resemble goo

But the jelly doesn't talk 

Like the cakes have been known to do

Maybe during its scrambled constitution 

It lost its inherited truth

Then he sees a silver Bugatti Royale

And it reminds him of a jellied spoon 

With the jelly waving as it passed

As Mr. Lamington passes into view

B waves back

As Mestuffstuffstoplease wants him to

But Bs going away for a while

And Calvin might be too