Finding Calvin Part. 1 - 6 - Dropped Nets

 

The day has come  

For interrogation 

And he decides to show 

Right after lunch 

For research gleaned 

Has created the sum 

That all agree 

After fish sticks and subs 

Along those lines 

He's deciding to shave 

For it's about the mind 

He wants to frame 

Does he want cool 

Or does he want insane 

It seems just gay 

Is not the only thing 

[...]

As he does his hair
He ponders his shave
Then he readies his stare
At the advertised blade

It's a Mach 3 
And it's sheer mockery

For just like the jet
It provides what he can't be

For he's no longer ten 

Nor a test pilot dummy

And he won't wear the napkin
They use as a man leash

He will stick with his polo

And the character beneath

And he will let his hair glow

As when the birds of prey preen

As he prepares for Cocina

And the interrogating

He thinks about the towhee

And their blueberry dream

Just like the plant

They'll cover what they see

They'll measure the expanse

Like he did at thirteen

But first they'll clear the area

Of any debris

With playful questions

And pleasantries 

Then they'll set the stage
With posts and stakes
And they'll try to frame 
Calvin in-between

Finally, they'll unroll the netting

They'll present for display
And they'll drop it atop
And call it a day

But he's not a blueberry plant
He's more a bird of prey
That watches over Calvin
For what he brings his way

As he arrives to Cocina

He switches his frames
For it's time to see clearly
Not to be the display

After a very brief meeting
With his supreme jelly team 
He heads into the pastry shop

To spot team comradery

He keeps an eye on Sophie
But he watches Marie 
For the latter was cuter
And had a perfect heinie 

And the Caker took notice
As he gestured indiscreetly
Then he walked away 
Leaving Mestuffstoplease peeved

Both were Italian 
And both were from the East
But Marie was from upstate
And Sophie was from the city

And that made Sophie more Italian
As she would go on to explain
And also a true New Yorker
Which Marie couldn't really claim 

For Sophie closer to the shore 

Where her ancestors came
And pronounces car as caah
As only a true New Yorker would say

And Sophie was less subdued 
From her time walking the streets
Which is the lifestyle and attitude
Every New Yorker needs to compete

Sure, she minded her Ps and Qs

But she didn't contemplate 
For from every window view
Could be a different reality 

Instead she always spoke on cue 
And she wouldn't hesitate 
For survival depended upon news
That others could be hiding underneath 

Such is the point of view
When you live out the substrate

Everyone's forced to common ground
And agreeable realities 

As he's dressing his Bundt cake
With Monkey jelly
He hears a voice across the counter

Speak somewhat evocatively 

[Stranger]

Nice Bundt

[...]

It was a man with a cake straw
Between his two lips
Though longer and sweeter
He endured it like a toothpick

His friend had a pie pop
Snug atop his ear cartilage 

And they both gave him a look

That filled him with embarrassment 

If only he had his uncle's ghillie suit

He used to snipe terrorists 
Or his camouflage netting

He used to cover his cannabis 

Alas he feels like a ghost
Inside of a little kid
Fearful of disapproval 
And eventual ejection

He musters a reply 
The only one that makes sense
Despite their lascivious eyes
They're still in a pastry establishment 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Can I help you find anything

[Stranger]

No, we just like your Bundt

Can we have it

[Mestuffstoplease]

I'm not finished with my jelly drip
But if you want it you can have it
But there will be no price discount
Despite my incomplete jelly sacrament

[Stranger]

How much for the dripper

[Mestuffstoplease]

The jelly dripper is not for sale

[Stranger]

I'll give you a hundred dollars for it

[Mestuffstoplease]

Deal

[...]

You'd think they'd won a trophy 
And this was a moment to savor

They played with his jelly dripper
As if it were a sexual favor 

He passes them off to Sophie *
While ignoring their lewd behavior

With a new idea in mind 
He rushes to the office computer

So he'll set a price for the jelly drippers
And put them beside the cash register

Certainly a novelty item
Once they have the Cocina signature

He spends the remaining morning 

Thinking of unique jelly flavors 
But he needs a consistent theme 
Something deemed worthy by its creator

Mestuffstoplease wasn't religious 
But he did believe in the spiritual nature
And he understood the goodness gleaned
From discipline and believing in divine favor

He heads to the police station 
After a protein drink and jelly wafers

And he prepares his mind for reconnaissance

As he planned to mirror the mirrored surveyors 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Good afternoon, I'm here to give a statement regarding a missing person's report

[Officer Clerk]

What is the attending detective's name

[Mestuffstoplease]

You know, I'm not sure.

[Officer Clerk]

What is the missing person's name

[Mestuffstoplease]

Brian Lacquette 

[Officer Clerk]

Please have a seat over there.  Someone will be with you shortly.

[...]

Mestuffstoplease lied 

As he so felt inclined
At first he couldn't say why
Until he reflected in due time

Apparently he got cold feet
And he didn't want to be seen

He had to recompose his being 
Thanks to the jelly dripper fiend 

But if he's not gay anyway 
Then why the vulnerability 
Besides gay is his whole new game

Apparently ambiguity it's a tricky thing 

But professionalism is the mirror 
That will project reality 
It is the camouflage he will draw near
Presenting what otherwise mustn't be seen

[Detective Johnson]

Calvin Humphries 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Here

[Detective Johnson]

Follow me sir.  Nice polo. Is that silk?

[...]

They head past dozens of desks
With suited detectives making suitable jests
Some starred and some just glanced
So many trained eyes trained for discernment 

They enter into a viewless room 
Except for the mirror in plain view

Projecting the many personalities one can assume
And the one's yet he's yet to include

[Detective Johnson]

Alrighty, so it looks like Detective Shaw is assigned to this case
Unfortunately he's dealing with a triple homicide at the moment
Really messy stuff...so he won't be able to attend to this session.  

And just so you know everything in this room is being recorded, so anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law.  

Oh, before we get started.  Can I get you a coffee, doughnut...I also have gum...Are you a Big Red or Juicy Fruit guy?  

[Mestuffstoplease]

I prefer Dubble Bubble

[Detective Johnson]

Ah, I would have guessed Juicy Fruit.  Alrighty.  Now from these notes it says that you saw Brian Lacquette the night that he disappeared.  Is that correct?  

[Mestuffstoplease]

Correct

[Detective Johnson]

Now, according to video footage, we have who we believe to be Brian Lacquette.  And we want you to confirm his identity based on the way you saw him dressed the night he left the pastry shop.

[...]

He turns around his laptop
Cycles the windows and presses play
It's Brian approaching the Pink Fairy
Dressed as if attending a masquerade

[Mestuffstoplease]

Yes.  That is how he was dressed before he left.

[Detective Johnson]

Great.  Now we also have some footage of someone trailing Brian 
About a block away from the Pink Fairy
Do you recognize this man

[...]

All of a sudden Detective Shaw comes in
And he posts up against the wall
Though he's not acknowledged as he entered
Detective Johnson continues after a brief stall

Mestuffstoplease sees himself 
In his colorful cape 
Looking like a superhero
Who might be kind of gay

[Mestuffstoplease]

No

[Detective Johnson]

Alrighty.  And there's some more footage of him coming out later that night

[Mestuffstoplease]

I don't see him 

[...]

Detective Shaw walks over

Calmly but impatiently 
Points to the computer screen

And identifies Calvin Humphries

[Detective Shaw]

There's our little peacock 

[Mestuffstoplease]

Ah, yes, he's missing his cape now

[Detective Johnson]

And here's some more footage of him earlier that night.  It appears he's slipping gum underneath his mask.  Did we find any gum wrappers on the scene detective

[Detective Shaw]

Yeah, Big Red, Juicy Fruit, and Dubble Bubble

[Mestuffstoplease]

Lol

[Detective Shaw]

Is this funny to you, Calvin

[Mestuffstoplease]

I apologize.  I thought you were making a joke.

[Detective Shaw]

Are you mentally ill, Calvin

[Mestuffstoplease]

How would a mentally-ill person answer that

[Detective Shaw]

Where were you the night Brian Laquette disappeared

[Mestuffstoplease]

Just to be safe.  I think I'll exercise my 5th amendment right now

[Detective Shaw]

That is your right, but you're free to go

[...]

It would be a worrisome reflection

But it was a successful charade

For he avoided detection

And now knows what they think

While passing through Cocina 

He walks right into Charlene 

And she was wearing an orange halter top

Looking as hot as she could possibly be

Mestuffstuffstoplease was surprised 

And now a different emotional being

Still he managed to sedate

His desire to procreate with Charlene 

[Charlene] 

Hey Calvin 

Long time no see

How'd my little fixer-upper do

[Calvin] 

Well simply put 

It went swell

Now I just have to figure out 

The next jelly that we'll sell

[Charlene]

Well I'm sure you'll surprise us all

One day you'll have to teach me

How you go about creating 

All your fantastic jelly recipes 

[Calvin]

Well I might take you up on that ma'am

But I got to get back to my station 

[Charlene] 

Okay sweetie I'll talk to you later 

[...]

And that was indeed something for facilitation

But he can't risk the ambiguity he creates

So he'll have to redirect his sexual frustrations 

Until the uncertainty of his situation dissipates  

As he's in the pastry shop 

Examining today's pastry creations 

He receives a tap on his shoulder 

And an invitation that could provide alleviation 

[Dave]

Hey there Calvin

Or is it B

[Calvin] 

Dave. What are you doing here

How did you find me

[Dave]

Relax.  Your secret's safe with me.  

A bartender said he recognized you

while buying a Bundt cake.  Anyway, we have a small gathering at Tom's and I think you're in for quite a treat.

[Calvin]

I don't know.  I appreciate the invite but I really can't with how busy we've been here lately 

[Dave]

Oh, okay.  Well, i didn't think you'd go for it, but Lamington said he enjoyed the conversation the other night.

[Calvin]

Oh, well, when do you plan on having it

[Dave] 

Give me your phone.  Here's my number.  Text me.  It'll be soon, but I have to confirm with Tom.  

[...]

Mestuffstuffstoplease didn't want to

But with Lamington he was intrigued 

So he made sure to entertain 

This sweet future possibility