Finding Calvin Pt. IV - 4 - A Layering (Updated 7/7/25)

Updated: bottom

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Finding Calvin Part IV - 4 - A Master Unknown - A Layering 

(Calvin didn't know German 

Nor did he know Ukrainian 

So he pretended to be mute 

Waving awkwardly to them)

Coast guard: (now speaking in English) please turn on deck and spreader lights and approach the bulwark with all required documentation

Calvin would see the opportunity for what needed to come next--

As he turned on his deck lights he'd grab a souvenir from Sweden--

He also grabbed a document as cover for what's now in his grip--

By interlacing the paper between his middle, ring, pinky and his index--

As he approached the bulwark with confident baited breath--

He'd speak of what needed to be examined before being boarded--

He extended his obscured hand across the bulwark to the BO and BTM--

What he'd let go would be with care but without the waiting pin

His next action was to ground for the subsequent explosion--

As he pulled his pistol out then shot both in their foreheads--

His shooting would resound who is the man that is left--

Nor Pachino nor Deniro could replace him as marksmen

He'd quickly seek higher ground as flames rose close to deck--

Where he's going he does not know but far away is what's best--

Upstream or downstream it's hard to tell what comes next--

But so far the sea to Sterling seems like a bloodbath

(Helicopter camera pan - yacht racing off)

(Intro music - princes of the universe)

[Verse 2]

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings (yeah, yeah)

I have no rival, no man can be my equal

Take me to the future of your world

[Chorus]

Born to be kings, princes of the universe

Fighting and free, got your world in my hand

I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand

We were born to be princes of the universe *$*

(Yacht disappears around the moonlit bend)

[...]

Once again Calvin's anchored 

But this time he does not sleep--

Instead he's staring intently at the yacht's onboard computer screen--

But he's not focused on the controls or sea navigating--

He's looking for a long lost relative and for further understanding 

[...]

Calvin: what the...

[...]

He would find Uncle Duncan through Facebook and the McDonalds page scrolling-- 

Recognizing his first name and familiar grizzled face--

but there was confusion with the division of last names--

Goldberg hyphen Heinz hyphen McDonald

Perhaps he's married polyamory 

He would include it in his message--

Asking of the address of where he stays--

For he's not seen him since a little kid--

Nor his castle nor surrounding estate

[...]

Calvin: s***

[...]

He has to anchor his yacht for no further can he go--

For he lacks the expertise for the passage now getting too narrow--

But no docking is opportune for he lacks matching credentials--

So he'll have to anchor clandestinely in a nearby creek's cove

He locks up what is left as he packs up his rifles--

And he checks the refrigerator for tasty edibles--

He grabs the Golden Dream and he packs it to go--

Then he'd notice some hiding cupcakes and he snaps but controlled 

He pulls out the plastic container and grabs them from the mold--

Then he uses his hands to form them into a larger whole--

Then he'd wash up his hands and grab ample paper towels--

But he'd leave the upright mess and pack bananas and apples

As he dropped the zodiac he pondered where to go--

And how to mark it on his map that he found in the cabin neatly stowed--

He'd find brambles and a path that would lead to a back road--

And he'd do his best to cover his tracks and to take mental notes

He was in a nice suburb but a place few could actually call home--

He was amid the upper-middle class and most were too busy or private to be known--

But he fit in just a little despite being ill- composed--

But he quickly thinks of his new demeanor and his new demanding role 

He'd be an office colleague perhaps coming from a round of golf--

Seeking to bed his coworker's wife now waiting all alone--

But who exactly would this be it would have to be someone real close--

For you can only park so far until people doubt the story that you've told 

He'd peer for light beyond the glaze of uncurtened front windows--

And he'd see a fine woman in their place in a standing yoga pose--

He'd walk past the side housing and affix a shirt around his nose--

When she'd see him surprisingly he'd be holding a pistol far too close

He would lock her in the closet and grab her car keys and her cell phone--

Then he would hasten off to Stirling where hopefully brighter horizons would be known--

But as he was driving he thought of how this could possibly go--

For he still has no currency just a locked phone and keys he'll have to throw

He finally makes it to Stirling and floats the car beyond the boats--

Then he'd travel through some parking lots to a pawn shop so he was told--

He'd walk in predestined according to his mental mold--

And have diamonds between his dressing that his hand would fondly hold

Viewing the clerk's personality he thinks it offers hope --

As long as he plays foreignly sexy and naughty but ethical--

He approaches the clerk using a mirror they're now sympatico--

Like two peas in a pod or diamonds under a microscope

He'd give the man a familiar glare with an accent most would blow

[...]

Calvin: Da I am Ukrainian I need diamond appraisal please.  

(Calvin places diamond on the counter and waits for reaction)

Clerk: it's very nice. Where did you obtain it? 

Calvin: family heirloom 

(The man would move a couple steps and placed the diamond in a device. He looks Calvin up and down)

Clerk: I can only give you $1,000. You will find a better price at the diamond store.  

Calvin: Da that will suffice. 

(After having cash in hand, he thought of selling another diamond per chance, but not wanting to raise red flags, he'd leave the diamonds in his pants)

[...] 

Calvin finds a cab 

But Googling diamond store restrictions 

He's well aware of their ID checks

And wasn't sure how legit his fake ID is

He finds internet access 

And a comfortable hotel mattress 

Where he would take a nap 

And wait for his Uncle Duncan's message 

But waiting can be boring

And he soon wanted a drink 

It's been his attitude as of late

There are thoughts he doesn't want to think

[...]

(Calvin sits down at the pub adjacent to his hotel and orders a drink.)

Italian guy: Georgia?

Calvin: Virginia... Burroughs?

Italian guy: Ah, but which one?

Calvin: Brooklyn

Italian guy: what are you a linguist?

Calvin: it's just a lucky guess  

Italian guy: so what are you doing in Scotland?  

Calvin: family 

Italian guy: Same here. Well not me, my wife's. The heart wants what the heart wants, so what are you gonna do? So what do you do for work?--You look like money.  

Calvin: I'd rather not.  

Italian guy: Alright alright...

People think NYC is the great melting pot. But have you ever been to Florida? The irritation is f****** palatable. New York has its issues too but the people are of one mind. Florida's a whole different ball game. You got vacationers, multi-millionaires, and those trying to become them. And then you got the poor and the serving class--all at the same grocery store right by the beach. No one's exactly on the same page, though they're all seeing the same thing. You know what I'm saying? 

I was in one in St. Pete, and I heard this lady talking on the phone about a crazy bum she just walked by. She was like, "it's Florida they're everywhere down here." I'm thinking C***** lady you just walked by the f****** guy. Close your f***** mouth. Besides If they're everywhere you shouldn't be opening it at any way. Know what I'm saying? Some people... completely oblivious.  

[TV screen gets their attention]

News anchor: Three Chinese Nationals were arrested in London on charges of espionage early Monday morning.  

Calvin: Barkeep, turn that up.

News anchor: meanwhile, there are still no suspects apprehended for the terrorist attacks in Dresden and Dublin last Friday, but it is highly suspected that it's part of the global jihad declared by Al-Nur al-Aswad in early August.

Old Scottish Drunk: haud yer wheeht!

Italian guy: eh! It's just a couple notches pale calm down.

Old Scottish drunk: eh, ya f****** dobber turn that off. Yankee shite

Italian guy:

Why don't you watch your mouth before I blow my load in it sweetie pie.  

(slams a straw on the bar counter just enough so the paper cover slides down it a little, blowing it across the bar top finding the man between the ear and the eye)

Old Scottish drunk: Oy, ya f'ng nobber.

Calvin: Let it go.

Italian guy: Nah, f*** that guy. He can't talk to us like that. You gotta know, If you think someone is messing with you, they are

(Seemingly out of nowhere a stout Scottish man would appear behind)

Italian guy:

Woe woe woe, we're patrons too pale. We have every right to be here just like he does. (He gives Calvin a beseeching look luring for an affirming nod

(Calvin locks eyes with the looming Scotsman)

Calvin: you know I had this buddy, he said to me, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." Well, "I am double the worst trouble you ever thought of." (Robert de Niro and Al Pacino, Heat)

(Calvin didn't blink. And the Italian seemed to be sitting on an egg, not knowing what came next, as the Scotsman replied mockingly)

Stout Scotsman: give me 10 quid or you're getting stomped (inspired by comedian Kevin Bridges) 

Italian guy: Eh, you don't want to do that. Just go back to your booth, go sip on your lager, or whatever the f*** it is you people drink. And leave us be. We didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, okay sweetie pie.

(Calvin's was unnerved. The New Yorker is clearly insane. Calvin's calculated intimidation has been pushed off the balance beam)

[...]

When the Scotsman raised his shoulder 

Calvin leaned forward like a dolphin

As if he had a unicorn horn

Affixed atop his forehead

It happened so fast 

And like a missile launching

He not only found the Scots nose 

But a new GPS location

Now Calvin's on his knees 

Behind the stout Scotsman 

And he pulls him down aggressively 

With both hands on his waistband

Now the Italians on his feet 

With his attention oscillating

Enthralled by the "hoofs"

And Calvin exasperating

Calvin's dropping farming forearms

A new move he's created

And the movement was demanding 

Like dropping weights exercising

Italian Guy: Eh, put the phone down scumbag. I f***** kill you. Put it down you mutha********* scumbag (He throws his glass at the bartender) Let's go! You mutha*******! (Yells as they run out the back door)

[...]

They'd race through the alley

Giddy the Italian found the sraid

Where he was struck by a van

And Calvin made his escape

For he knew of Scotland 

And all the cameras in the UK

And though he was concerned 

He took the alley hotel entryway 

He would take the stairs to his room

After visiting the hotel buffet

Because he was kind of hungry 

And he had a hankering for cake and eggs

He'd once again check his Facebook

In the room where he had stayed

Finally reading the message 

And what it awkwardly conveyed

Uncle Duncan:

To better fit in your grandfather changed his name from Goldberg to Heinz, while it was still feasible to do that.

But, eventually he was still forced to leave Munich. When he arrived in Scotland, he changed his name to MacDonald. Then he shortened it to McDonald, but for reasons that have been somewhat muddled. I'm sorry that you have to find out this way, but you asked.  

Tracing our lineage is very important to me. My hope is to reconnect with those lost during migration. Maybe lost relatives, maybe our past before surnames. It's my understanding that not everyone made it to Scotland, hence 

Goldberg - Heinz - McDonald.

But I go by Goldberg now.

There's a time when we had to hide. But not anymore. We don't have to pretend to be Gaelic to fit in--no one really cares about their history around here. Life got busy. We'll talk more at the estate. Text the number below so I can call you if need be. I'm away on business, but I'll be back in a week or so. The address and pin code to my gate is also below, and the key is under the heather potted plant.

[...]

Calvin thought of the implications

And though he never cared for history

It turns out he's not 100% Scottish

But a 50/50 Scott-Jew half-breed

[...]

Calvin would take a cab to the address

He'd settle in and take a bath 

And pick one of the many thick robes 

From Uncle Duncan's vast robe collection 

He'd head to the second floor veranda

After fixing himself several beverages 

And would gaze at the forest and timberline 

Pondering the many shadows hemorrhaging 

[...]

For the next couple days Calvin felt free

He'd wander where he'd want 

He would do as he pleased

He'd traipse his uncle's grounds 

Taking mental notes of what he sees

Eventually he'd jelly sourdough bread

And feed it to the geese

Then a woman came about 

And with an eager border collie 

With laughter soundly abound 

For how Calvin's queerly seen

Alice: what are you doing you silly man? 

Calvin had a jelly jar 

And he jellied many bread 

Meticulously aligning the jellied 

Atop and around a beavers homestead 

Calvin: I'm creating a bait trail. 

Alice: why?

Calvin: I want to pet a beaver. 

Alice: what a weird man you are (taken aback laughter) 

Calvin: yes, well I'm kind of on vacation. Seemed like a good idea. 

Alice: I apologize you'll have to forgive me it seems I've wandered too far from the main trail. Bronte here likes to chase rabbits. Is this your estate?

Calvin: it's my uncle's. He's away on business.

Alice:

(She bites her lip, enticingly.) I didn't realize the time, I have to be going. Would you care to walk me home--it's real close. I could use the company.

[...]

Calvin thinks to himself

Another woman and another grove

But what are the chances

Of another brother and sister serial killer duo

Besides he has the time

And he has his pistol

If worse comes to worse

He will come back all alone

[...]

Calvin: How far?

Alice: not far...just around the bend.  Leave the jelly jar, weirdo

Calvin: okay

Alice: so how do you like it here?

Calvin: it's all rather new, but the open space is welcome. I've been in cities for too long.  

Alice: yes, there seems to be a tranquility embedded in the North, but you have to pick your space wisely.  

Calvin: Are you from here? 

Alice: oh no, London. 

Calvin: vacation?

Alice: assignment. But it's like a vacation.

Calvin: what do you do?

Alice: I'm a clinical psychologist

Calvin: I reckon that we might need a longer walk.

Alice: indeed. I reckon (mocking laugh) 

Calvin: what is your focus?

Alice: Psychodynamic and humanistic therapy

Calvin: what does that entail?

Alice: I help patients understand.  

Calvin: Doesn't every psychologist?

Alice: haha, no, but they should. 

Calvin: so what exactly is it that you do?

Alice: I help people get in touch with their guiding voice.  

Calvin: so you are an enabler? 

Alice: haha, of sorts. Not all voices are bad. Some can help. Do you ever hear voices, Calvin?

Calvin: No. That's insane 

Alice: Not necessarily. Sometimes they're guiding entities. Don't you ever feel spoken to?--Maybe lured to a place without cause?

Calvin: I suppose. Isn't that what dreams are all about?

Alice: Indeed

[...]

(Teenagers drove by listening to rap)

Alice: Garbage in garbage out. My nana used to say that. Not many can use the negative as an instrument. Too many become negative themselves.

Calvin: Yeah, well the chicken or the egg I suppose. 

Alice: Well the chicken needs to get up off of it, man-up...maybe be a chicken man

Alice: Are you a Christian, Calvin (?)

Calvin: I get it. But life is complicated. The mind has understandings.

Alice: I don't think it's that complicated. I think people make it complicated. I think God just wants a relationship with you. I think dogma has its place for occupying the neuroses of modern man, but it's established truths not truths established. God is the God of the island, not the academy. And if that's the case I might as well read Emily Dickinson than King Solomon.

Calvin: he's very wise.  

Alice: indeed. So is Emily Dickinson (she coyly smiles)

[...]

They'd traverse the kempt lawn

Behind the massive mansion estate

Finding a well-suited gentleman

Playing fetch with a golden retriever of English cream 

Alice: Lord Featherstone. I'd like to introduce you to my friend Calvin.

[...]

Lord Featherstone: Oh, so nice to see you Alice. And it's a pleasure to meet you, Calvin.  

[...]

Calvin wasn't fooled for a second

For nothing has really changed

Except for the hoity toity accent

His countenance and lordly surname

[...]

Lord Featherstone: Alice, occupy them while we walk will you.

Alice: I'd love to.

(Alice would stay behind intermingling with the two dogs while Lord Featherstone started walking giving Calvin a directional nod)

 Calvin: what is this?

Lamington (Lord Featherstone): Fishing, hunting, leisure. Estates like these are everywhere around these parts. Your uncle is quite wealthy. 

Calvin: so you just camped out here, waiting for me to arrive? 

Lamington: Oh no, Calvin, I don't think so. I've been a busy bee--and so have you from what I understand. No, I'm a little further south...

After your departure I thought it wise to find higher ground. The King's country was the logical choice. I'm from these parts,  you know.

Calvin: you were faking your accent?

Lamington: It's just a voice, Calvin—you can do whatever you want with it.  

Calvin: So Sarah knew...How is she?

(Mr. Lamington gives Calvin a curious look)

Mr. Lamington: Yes, she's fine. What happened to Sarah is no more your fault than what happened in the East is mine. Powers higher still, agreed?

Calvin: How did you get her back?

Lamington: People are people Calvin. You just have to find the one that wants what he's not getting. 

Calvin: Is Xao still alive?

Lamington: I suppose. I was hoping you could tell me?

Calvin: Well you could say we had a falling out.

(Lamington avoiding direct eye contact peering the forested scene)

Lamington: Yes, well all good things as they say...is he the one that left you that nice mark across your neck?

Calvin: Friend of a friend you could say

Lamington: With friends like those...

But yes Sarah knew. Russe and Wellington too. But Russe and Sarah are very much in the dark. They have no idea why I had Barry locked in my basement...You do understand Calvin, I didn't actually enjoy what I did to Barry. But it was necessary. He was my litmus test.

Calvin: So you just used him as a sort of morality gauge? And why are you in America. Why pretend to be Gavin Lamington?

Lamington: We are separating the wheat from the chaff, Calvin. You cannot have a society without good men... operating in the States gives me anonymity.

Calvin: so you were never really studying him?

Lamington: A thing can serve more than one purpose, as you know.

(Calvin thought of the Bundt cakes and the many donut holes)

Calvin: So what does Sarah think you're doing? Is she faking her accent too? Is Russe?

Lamington: No, she was raised in the States thanks to her mother. Certainly she knows that I'm working in concert with British Intelligence, but she doesn't know the details.

Calvin: MI6?

Lamington: It's not uncommon for lords and ladies to serve their Majesty in whatever capacity that they may...

But Russe, she is a bit of a black box I'm afraid. She's quite the modern-day Poisson. She's well-traveled to say the least 

...

Calvin: is there really a global jihad going on?

Mr. Lamington: Nuclear powers cannot openly declare war Calvin.  

Calvin: And this is all because of the chip?

Lamington: The first to perfect the chip will decide what's what, do you understand? It cannot be those in the East.. 

Calvin: I understand science Mr. Lamington, but why Dave? &^

Lamington: Calvin, Dave was not who you think he was. 

Calvin: what do you mean? 

Lamington: Calvin, Dave is a serial killer

[...]

Calvin was speechless 

He didn't know what to say

But all he could think of

Was the accuracy of his dream

[...]

Lamington: It's true. It's unfortunate but he was a malignant narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. Though the kill count remains unconfirmed he's responsible for many murders.  

Calvin: but he was so sweet. 

Lamington: it was just a guise, Calvin. Underneath he was a sadistic predator seeking his next victim.

Calvin: I don't understand how does the chip reconcile such dysfunction? 

Lamington: those implanted with the chip as of right now are like those with low testosterone--they don't have a will, not really--they're just happy to be here.

Calvin:...

Lamington: Yes, though it's being tested on the maladaptive, everyone will eventually have it, if not at least those that can afford it.  Though, that will be its allure at first.  Making it expensive will quell conspiratorial suspicions.  

....
it's going to happen regardless. Those who won't get chipped will have to conform to those who do. No one wants to play second fiddle after all--besides, it's my understanding that most would kill for the corner office (gives Calvin a coy smile perhaps seeking shared understanding)

Calvin: I can't imagine the servant you sold Xao in any corner office, or any office period.  

Lamington: (smile turned into slight vexation) Yes, well it's obviously not ready for retail, yet...

Steam engines, vaccines, cars--all were considered lethal at their inception.

Calvin: Cars?

Lamington: oh yes, it was a requirement to have a three-person crew to operate one and you could only traverse the countryside at 4mph, city streets 2. I imagine It will be no different with the chip. Accommodations will be made as needed. It's the brave new world...  

Calvin: the G-Man lore. You made that up?

Lamington: Me, no. But someone somewhere did. The question that's important is not is it made up?--But is it indicative of truth?

Calvin: what are we doing here Mr. Lamington?

Lamington: (he gives Calvin a curious look)I've been watching you since the Pink Fairy Calvin. And I think you're rather special. And I don't think it's just me who thinks that. (He casually looks up at the sky)...

Your primary school psychologist ranked you in the 100th percentile in readiness. He also wrote that you could not pronounce your R's, and that you suffered from...ED? (He gives Calvin a curious look). I'm just kidding, I know what it means. You know It's fascinating that despite riding the small bus to school you were still fairly popular.

Calvin: yes, well I guess not all chips divide.

Lamington: A diamond in the rough indeed.

Calvin: why are you telling me all this?

Lamington:

In The game of life most run the maze to get the cheese, just to do it again. And for most it's not even good cheese. No, for most it's processed and sealed in plastic. But some are chosen to evolve. And they become cats. They get milk fresh from the saucer daily, and they get the thrill of catching little mice that they don't like very much. Or they can just lay around thinking, daydreaming, planning...

Does that sound like fun to you Calvin? Would you like to become a cat?

Calvin: ...

Lamington: You said that you're waiting for your uncle to arrive at his estate?

I don't want to keep you Calvin. He pulls out a phone from his pocket. My number is programmed. We should have brunch sometime this week. We'll talk more then.

Calvin: this is all very strange Mr. Lamington.  

Lamington: I'll do my best to clarify the situation in due time. Baby steps Calvin...

When you come to the fork in the trail,

Take the path furthest to the left. It's faster and you don't want to be on the main path at this time.  

Calvin: should I be concerned? 

Lamington: No, no, you should be fine. But it's better to be safe than sorry. In fact let me have Mr. Berg trail you until you reach the tree line.. 

Calvin: are you sure that's necessary? 

Lamington: it's always better to be safe than sorry. Don't you agree? (He fingers Mr Berg closer.)...

Mr. Berg, see to it that Calvin safely passes the tree line.

Mr Berg:

Of course, sir

Lamington: I'll talk to you soon Calvin (smiles and walks away)

[...]

Calvin would look past Mr. Lamington

To where Alice and the dogs played 

But she was too far off to notice 

And not looking to where he would have to wave

[...]

Silent Mr. Berg kept his distance 

About thirty feet behind

Bearing Calvin's unknown witness

Gazing intently where Calvin was blind

The walk back was nearly quiet 

Except for a couple of times 

Where somewhere something was dying

With riotous laughter or abandoned cries

As Calvin would make his exit 

He'd curiously looked back in time 

But Mr. Berg was no longer present

He quickly vanished from the looming treeline

As Calvin would contemplate

The path that he would need to mind 

He would spot a ram-goat-sheep hybrid

With horns low but also raised high

Calvin made it to his Uncle Duncan's

And he felt a fresh zest for life

As the lamb chop found his mouth

An idea abruptly came to mind

Staring up into the clouds 

And the moon shining bright 

And he didn't know exactly why 

But the feeling felt quite right 

And now he was aroused 

Unsheathed in the spotlight 

Thinking of one espoused 

As he ejaculated in mirror hindsight 

But Calvin would soon wind down

And tuck in for the remaining night

And another prick would be found

But this one on his outer thigh 

He would quickly pass out 

And would come to just in time

To witness black robes all about

And chains tethered to his sides

[...]

Robed Monk 1: (chants something in Latin)

[...]

Awakening to a dull glimmer 

And iron meeting iron vehemently 

He sees black robes circle about 

Each fulfilling roles obligatory

One would light some candles 

Another would burn some sage

Another would chalk some imagery 

Encircling Calvin where he was chained 

Like a hypnotist oscillating a timepiece

The monk would do the same

Except with a large golden cross necklace

Akin to those seen latenight on MTV

They would douse him with vinegar 

They would chant, yell, and scream

Seemingly trying to break him  

At least that's what Calvin had deemed

The minutes turn to hours 

The hours could soon be days 

And every time he tried to sleep 

They would urinate onto his face 

[...]

Passing through the antechamber

Armed men would enter abruptly

Quickly killing the robed guards

And opening the barred cell's entryway 

Then strolls in Mr. Lamington

And it appears that he brought cake 

And a liter of refrigerated milk 

Half full from what Calvin surveyed 

Mr. Lamington bends at the knees 

And crouches on feet where Calvin laid

Sliding the plate of red velvet

Directly in front of Calvin's face

He'd address Calvin compassionately 

An assured surety with Lamington's gaze

Thinking the perfect words to muster 

Before uttering the ones that would take their place

[...]

Lamington:

...Sorry, all they had was 1%.  

[...]

Calvin peers up from the floor 

Soaked and strained beyond nourishment

He wondered who was Lord Featherstone 

And how does he differ from Mr. Lamington

Questions and Mysteries:

Given Calvin's cupcake exposition, can it be inferred that perhaps it was Calvin all along bullying the desserts in Coup De Tarte--specifically the missing cupcakes?

Does the revealing of Calvin's early childhood struggles perhaps lend perspective regarding how he was treated by Lamington, Sarah, Russe, and Xao--particularly Xao's disparaging commentary regarding Americans?  Were they rather cloaked insults aimed at Calvin? 

It seems the monks were conducting some kind of purging or possession ritual.  Why did they use vinegar and urine?  Why not use holy water or garlic--or lube (jk on the last one)?

If Calvin chooses to become a cat, what kind of cat do you think Calvin will be?

*$* Queen / Highlander Tribute

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e3W6jaUiq0&list=RD8e3W6jaUiq0&start_radio=1

&^ - verified as aligning with possible truth

This adds another mystery:  Why are Calvin's dreams seemingly foreshadowing his reality?  Is there an intervening force?