Public Advocate Extraordinaire...JK, but seriously (Updated 6/23)

By Adam Privett


I have run into a lot of folks during my day job who complain about speeding vehicles--even school buses--down their quaint side-street residence.  Because I'm assessing the curb ramps, they assume that I'm responsible for additional measures of safety, such as speed bump installation; however, I am not.  But, given my knowledge of public relations and my varied experience in composing documents of all sorts--some even of the legal variety (by legal I mean formal looking contracts that only Judge Judy would entertain, no offense and all praise to her prominence)--I could get the ball rolling in a certain direction.

Upon the third or so person, I started thinking of ways we could force the government's hand at addressing this seemingly ubiquitous city-wide issue.  During my conversation with this elderly gentleman (I will call him Mr. X, not to be confused with the professor).  I suggested to him that he acquire names and signatures around his neighborhood (no one wants to be hassled so it's best to have a short spiel prepared and a prepared space for them to jot down their name and signature.  Then, I would follow up with a facebook invite to every person known that could be affected by this issue, even those that aren't (power in numbers).  Along with this I would create a facebook group, and piggyback off a tragedy that occurred because of this issue.  And it's best to tether as many streets as possible around the city with this issue and find a leader in each sector that would be willing to go door-to-door to acquire names and signatures (or do it yourself).  I'm not sure how it would work on Facebook, but I would use a picture of every street sign of every street that wants to acquire a speed bump and prominently include it in the Facebook homepage of the group (think of those off-campus roommate solicitations that you see on college sponge boards throughout campus that have some person's name and number  at the bottom of the page repeated like 50 times along the footer, ready to be torn off.  Now picture a picture with every street name along the header of the Facebook Group Homepage.  I know that's a little murky, but something like that [I can sketch it out, if I needed to].

While name and signatures are being acquired, cost estimates should be obtained from those contractors responsible for putting in the speed bumps.  It's good to get several to compare and contrast.  There should also be a go-fund me page created to solicit funds, only redeemed  if the entire project around the city can be completed.  Requests to the facebook group participants should be like $1-5 dollars, but of course there is no limit to the donated amount (In fact, refer to *).  And of course, this would be Plan B, if the local municipality does not want to prioritize speed bump construction.  As an aside, I would be willing to pitch in a dollar even though I wouldn't be affected by any speed bump installations (except minorly inconvenienced, if I ever decide to take that shortcut).  But seriously, consider that I'm very miserly, and even I would donate. 

There should also be someone to formulate a professional-looking-and-sounding document--if not legal--expressing grief and professional outrage over the situation.  This might be ignored or put into the do-later bin, but it acts a preliminary for the big show...

Which is getting the local TV news involved in a spotlight segment.  Of course, unless you want to pay for that segment, you should refer to that tragedy that I spoke of earlier.  And it should obviously be relevant, recent, and have an immediate impact on the viewers.  Perhaps a drunk driver on a side street that killed someone would work well.  Even if that street doesn't need a speed bump, if you highlight that tragedy and explain to the people in the neighborhood that if this was a common issue (speeding, at least), then that would turn up the pressure cooker umpteenth amount.  Of course to go to the TV about it, you need a charismatic concerned citizen or two, or three, and you should clearly outline the issue for the TV news contact via email, with links to the already created and thriving Facebook group.  Now, to keep the Facebook group engaged, it's important to outline these steps in a concise manner to keep people from falling off the wagon (wrong metaphor, but you get the point).  There should be calendar dates for upcoming "moves" and even a ticker for the amount of people (or money) donating to the cause for the speed bump installation.  And remember, funds are not redeemed (I think a similar term is held in escrow?) unless the project can be assured for everyone's street. 

This whole process would take at least several months (but like John Snow and Socrates(**), I know nothing), and that's assuming you have committed boots on the ground to obtain those names and signatures.  I would also recommend a radio and TV segment reaching out to those who care about improving local society (refer to Nielsen data).

Of course, I am not a practitioner in public relations, I have only been educated to begin practicing.  And I suppose I could get the wheels moving on this issue or any other, if people cared and asked me really nicely (jk, geesh);  and if you're reading this and you're concerned about this or another issue, let me know.  I have devised many documents in the past and some that have even obtained fiscal results.  I've thwarted unfair medical billing practices, obtained refunds for defective products (as seen in a previous BlogSpot post), and blah blah blah.  What I'm saying is that I can comprise documents of various formats and styles (Upon revisement, I have recognized my repeated offer, and I am too lazy at this time to remove it.  So there.)  And like Gumby, I can manipulate the shape of my words to reach my audience (yes, his latex rubber extremities was a metaphor for the power of the pen; duh).  

I tried to avoid it, but man is a political animal (but I prefer the written word, because verbal words hurt my feelings); and this issue kept on popping up as the nut I had to crack, so I cracked it.  This also gives me more content for my blog and an outlet to showcase my can-do and know-how.   Anyways, If you need a lawyer, you better call Saul, but if you need an idea man, I'm your guy.  Well, I'm a guy.  Truth be told, people can get whatever they want done, but they need action.  Do you know how many times I've stubbed my toe on that dining room chair; it doesn't matter, because I wear indoor shoes now.  Take action people!  

And of course, this is by no means comprehensive.  I could drill at this forever.  But it's an hour and half worth of chewing my cud.  I lied, I’m including an addendum, spell checking, and adding subtle refinements for better flow and comprehension.

Addendum (We add these in blogs?):

I've heard it said that you can use statistics to say anything, so why not find several to support your cause.  In this case, I bet there's a statistic out there that conveys that drunk drivers are more likely to drive on side streets than on busy, police checkpoint laden intersections.   Besides, who's going to dispute statistics in favor of speed bumps and against drunk driving? (Not this time Patty and Selma.  Simpsons reference.  No they never did that, but you can imagine it)

With the advent of social media people are more powerful than ever.  You just have to know what to say, how to say it, where to say it, and to whom you're going to tell where you're going to say it, if things don't get changed.  Contrary to popular belief, not all press is good press, and "they" know this. 


*Anchoring Effect:  When no anchor was mentioned, the visitors at the Exploratorium—generally an environmentally sensitive crowd—said they were willing to pay $64, on average.  When the anchoring amount was only $5, contributions averaged $20.  When the anchor was rather extravagant $400, the willingness to pay rose to an average of $143 (Thinking Fast and Slow)


**Fun fact: I just read that Socrates was possibly a fictional tool used by Plato to get people to not be so defensive.  

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