Time Well-Spent

 

Time Well-Spent

“Adam can you ring out your mop?” Said the rookie.  Adam was incensed; in fact, he sensed the affront minutes before the chiding request.  It was like a sick-sense Adam often got: he always knew when the world would cuck him.  Adam replies, “Focus on your own work.”  Though less eloquent and certainly less comprehensive than Adam would have liked, the riposte seemed to have staved off further attack.  

Truth be told, Adam had a bigger game plan in mind than doing the right thing.  In Adam’s mind, he was not only saturating the floor for a brighter shine, he was saturating life itself—if only life would appreciate his sheening intent.  But right now, Adam felt hard-pressed and immediately started ruminating over his methodical process to make sure it was justifiable in the higher court.  He reformulated his response for a more business-conscious mindset: “I can saturate the floor sufficiently and cover more area if I don’t ring out the mop.  And although I appreciate your concern--as I'm sure that you were just worried about our safety, and not at all looking for an excuse to impose your alpha male syndrome, I will continue walking at a brisk pace for a long time with my water-infused mop.” 

Adam knew that to have a viable defense, it was good to show sportsmanship and empathy for the former duty-bound super soldier.  Adam immediately started calibrating the empathy process: “What he did right was that he called out a perceived inconsideration.  Whether he thought that I was being lazy or efficient, I don’t know (Adam makes a mental note to add emphasis on efficient…e-fish-ent).  What he did wrong is that he failed to see how that inconsideration suited the needs of the time—in that everyone, if they think past their pre-instilled prima facie right and wrong judgments, will see that I am right because the only people remaining in the store are the employees with their required non-slip footwear, so a little puddle on the floor should not be anyone’s safety concern.  Furthermore, with my efficient mopping method, I saved at least 20-30 minutes and arguably did a better job than everyone else not utilizing the saturation method (%) (Adam knows from his time in uni., naming a process formalizes it and gives it clout.  In his mind, Adam just invented the saturation method: It’s now a thing.  It's as if Adam got his MBA in retail science and now he was excavating his findings for the wow factor--at least, that was the impression that he wanted to give).  And realistically, with the area that had to be covered, how many people would pause on their pre-calculated efficient route to get more water, just to ring out most of it?  So either they’re going to do a half-ass job or they’re going to take a lot longer.”    

Adam continues preparing his defense, and his co-worker's too—since Adam believes in the win-win, as long as he wins first, of course.  “What he miscalculated was that the execution of duty in business is not just executing orders--as it was for him in the military (Adam makes a mental note to presume condescendingly on cue at this point).  Efficient business is about creating an end-result that appears that you have followed orders (Adam knows when you can equate yourself with grandiose words like business, athlete, or god, you should do so: It’s good business.) .  What really matters is achieving the same result faster and thereby saving the company money—as we all clock out sooner with my methods of efficiency.  I reckon with my combined methods of expediency and selective ignorance (Adam makes a mental note: "delete selective ignorance"), I saved the store about fifty to sixty dollars every night that I help close the store (Adam takes a mental snapshot of the math: Supplies saved + labor / time [or something like that].  Math: It just needs to pass the smell test).  Needless to say, everyone loves closing with me, and a couple people even expressed such sentiment to my face.”   

Now, Adam never liked playing the rat, but he had to show that his practical disregard for the rules trumps his ratty co-worker’s precarious application of them: as Adam has seen the same gentleman fail to fill up the scrubber and plug it in at the end of the night (which has been emphasized by the store manager as a necessary courtesy for the morning crew).   

But Adam won’t select the nuclear option--not yet.  He still has his defense, his co-worker’s defense, and a what-if response to get through.  But he would save that ace up his sleeve should the rookie call him out on a minor fib, which Adam predetermined would only incriminate him and his time-saving method, but Adam has a response for that too: “it should be noted that in some instances, there would be a customer lingering, and I would prudently use the mop bucket to cover the puddle.  Plus, I always use the ‘wet floor sign’”). 

It wasn’t the best that Adam could come up with, but it was suitable for a time that would never come.  No one cared.  

*Disclaimer: this story is inspired by true events.  As such, I feel that it is necessary to clarify that the areas mopped using the saturation method were the edges (formally called "edge mopping" in the biz..), and isolated areas like the break room, office, etc.--areas that would not need to be traversed in order to reach desired product or pathways.  An industrial scrubber was used for the main walkways.  As always: safety first.   

*$* - The idea was to mimic the soliloquistic style of Fight Club, not to suggest that the workplace was as boring as the one depicted in the movie.  In fact, the constant flow of work suited my nature very well.   

% - More is more!