Finding Calvin Pt. 2 - 5 - A Trans Blend

Calvin was getting sweeter
But was it for his sweetheart
For he's part of a bigger picture
And he's just one of three parts

But pictures they do change 
Cause people they are smart

And nothing stays the same
Not even who we think we are

And today's another day 
For our upcoming shooting star
But who will we see in play
Given his knowledge from afar

(...)

[Ride to the derby]

Lamington:  You met Wellington at the soiree, but I don't believe he talked much.  You seemed to commandeer the spotlight.  

Calvin:  Yes.  I apologize if I overreached.  

Lamington:  Nonsense, as I said before, you came off fine.  But just be aware that he's peculiar and he's bound to say something off-putting from time to time.  

Sarah:  Pompous.  What you mean is pompous.  Wellington descends from the landed gentry, Calvin, and as such he's quite crass.  You'll have to forgive his transgressions in advance.  He doesn't get out much.

Lamington:  it's true, I'm afraid; the pomp is an unfortunate inheritable trait from generations of born gentlemen.  Still, I'm sure Calvin can attest that there are crass types within every type of circle.

Calvin:  I've worked in the restaurant business sir;  I have a high tolerance for abuse.

[...]

As they circled the entry roundabout
Some prepared for illumination 
But they were not there for the crowd

But for a special someone's dessertation

To avoid the commons and Press they found
They took a side passage to them adjacent
And made their way towards higher ground
With those of similar tastes and persuasions 

[...]

Lamington:  Looks like Wellington is already seated

Sarah: I'm going to look for Russe.  I'll be back.

Lamington:  Don't get lost Sarah.

[...]

Lamington:  You remember Wellington, Calvin. 

Calvin:  It's good to see you again. 

Lamington: Like you, Calvin, Wellington left his dwellings for shall we say greener pastures?

Wellington:  5,000 acres less, but I still have my mansion

Lamington:  it seems that there's a Russian invasion sweeping the home counties.

Wellington:  Yes, it was a sad departure; but it was either I sell or I start hosting Bed and Breakfasts, weddings, pop-up cinema nights and shooting syndicates.  Old money just doesn't go as far as it used to. 

Lamington:  Ah, don't worry old chum, we'll keep you right and proper.

Calvin:  So how do you two know each other?

Lamington:  Well, Calvin, I still have ties to the old country.  You could say that Wellington and I share the same circles. 

[Here comes Russe
Approaching from behind Lamington's seat]

[Russe]

Yodelayheehoo

[Lamington]

As charming as ever

[Russe]

I'm just poking fun

[Wellington]

Yes, where is the prince these days?

[Lamington]

Busy yodeling, I suppose.  He hosts competitions now.  

[Sarah]

Why is your brother so eccentric, uncle?

[Lamington]

I don't know.  I suppose for some of us the mind has to go somewhere.  

[Russe}

Well, he should be here to support his son.

[Lamington]

Agreed.

[Calvin]

Your brother yodels—and is a prince?

[Lamington]

Well, he's the single largest private land owner in the Swiss Alps and he has the love of the people—and the Swiss love their guns.  So, you could say many think of him as such.

[Sarah pulls out her phone 
And shows Russe the screen]

[Sarah]

Is this a duck, or a rabbit.  

[Russe]

DO - a deer, a female deer
RE - a drop of golden sun

[Sarah]

MI - a name, I call myself

[Russe]

FA - a long long way to run

[Sarah]

SO - a needle pulling thread

[Russe]

LA - a note to follow SO

[Sarah] [Russe]

TI - a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to do

[Lamington]

Ladies.  

[Wellington]

These little girls and their lifestyle influencers, always on their phone.  Someone should just tell them "you're not ever living in St. Barts little girl.  Get off of it." 

[Lamington]

Illusions of hope. 

[Sarah]

Maybe for some.  But now even royalty sees the merit in it.  The queen herself is posting.  

[Calvin]

Well, if they're not careful they're more likely to incite a rebellion instead of fostering goodwill.  

[...]

All of a sudden
Laughter abruptly resounds
As Sarah spits up an ice cube
Which comes flying out of her mouth

[...]

Wellington:  That was a good one, Calvin. 

Lamington:  Yes, Calvin, hilarious.  Rebellions don't age as well as technological progress.  I don't think we have to worry about the commons so much.

Sarah:  As I've said before, what they need is a daily planner.  If they're to survive well they must order their lives better... 

I just received a text from Chiffon.  Apparently, he's down below.  Can Russe and I go say hello. 

Lamington:  Of course, and invite him to join us.

 
Wellington: Are you referring to that dodgy todger actor?

Lamington:  Yes, he's an interesting study.  You'll like him, really. 

[...]

[Sarah and Russe depart]

[Wellington]

Speaking of a dodgy todger. I've become a bit of a one myself.  Thomson introduced me to the social media milieu.  I can find soon-to-be courtesans to my liking and Thomson delivers them promptly.  He baits them with his cheeky winsomeness and abdominal muscles, and then I proposition them when they're settled in the King's room.  The bed comfortably fits seven.  

Calvin was awestruck
But if not them then who
Besides every woman does aspire 
On the social media carousel milieu 

Lamington: Well, if anyone deserves fresh courtesans, it's you.  

Wellington:  Indeed.  After everything I've been through with my cornuted strumpet I think so.

[...]

Remembering what Sarah said

Her advice he would finally try
He'd utter his humor in silence's stead

With the first thing that came to mind

[...]

Calvin: Sounds like the pastry has gone stale

Lamington:  Ha-ha, indeed.

Wellington:  Yes.  Well, she's as taboo as fois gras now

Calvin: Sounds like she had a nasty fall from paste

[...]

Lamington gives Calvin a glance
Accompanied by a subtle nod
While he grabs a sip from his glass
He deduces his humor a bit too odd

Wellington looks at Lamington
Before responding in kind
He had a look that tentatively guessed
They would both be of the same mind 

[...]

Welllington:  I think you have a problem with Xao.  At heart he's a traditionalist.  And philosophically they believe in living in harmony with nature.  And I tried to prepare him for the decision he'd have to make.  I spoke to him in a language he would understand.  

Lamington:  What did you say?

Wellington:  I said that in a healthy organism,  all is well.  But when limbs start to slump, when roots start to show, some divine intervention is called for.  And that's what we in the West are good at, fine tuning...

But really, we're just readjusting some limbs, maybe clipping a few beyond revival.  I said that I think it's time to mend ways before the whole endeavor is corrupted.  

[...]

Calvin was surprised
For it was him who was more prone
To theorizing about plants
And the connections that he's grown

And Calvin knew about plants
And the dangers of roots exposed
From sunlight, diseases, and insect invasions
To the structures they could remold

[...]

Lamington:  He's been privy to so much and I'd hate to till unfamiliar ground with another.  And we both know the strong ties Xao has back East.  Who do you think would be a suitable replacement should he have second thoughts?

Calvin:  Actually, tilling strips the soil of key nutrients.  In fact, many farmers are seeking no-tilling practices these days.  

Wellington: ha-ha, we have finally found a man to challenge the veracity of your metaphors.

Lamington: Indeed, no more cocktail parties for you Calvin.  My ego will suffocate before the first cheese puff. 

Wellington: though you do have a point, Calvin, it's not the soil we care about, but the nutrients we can derive from it.  Well, it's your rodeo, as they say in America.  Who do you think would be a suitable replacement?

Lamington: I was thinking of Cavendish

Wellington:  That man is absolutely bananas

Lamington:  Say what you want but his discriminations are clairvoyant. 

 Wellington:  I remember him at the grove.  He was always around but he never sat and ate.  He seems a shrewd peevish nosher that one. 

Lamington:  Indeed.  But you haven't seen him with the commons.  He can resonate and unite...bridge the divide.  Plus, he runs a tight ship...  

It's a decision I'll have to ponder.  Not to sound too sentimental, but I was hoping we could all stay a team.

[...]

Xao would have a problem 
That he didn't know yet existed
Though he was great at framing an image
Not many can see past their vision 

But he is the director of his fate
And perhaps part of a bigger mission 
But would he serve or be replaced
Would depend on unknown decisions 

[...]

Sarah: What secret intrigue did we miss while we were gone.  

Lamington:  We were just talking about the topiary process.  And how pruning doesn't stunt growth, but rather promotes it.

Sarah: That reminds me, how is Bramblewood and Vault Shire?  

Lamington:  Excellent.  My Blueberry Bordeaux blend received a 91 on the Parker scale last quarter.

Russe: What's the key to yielding a fine Bordeaux?

Lamington: Aside from a near-perfect climate and aging process, you want fewer grapes and berries per vine for better yields

Sarah:  And why's that?

Lamington:  The energy within the vines become concentrated in those few that remain.  Less is more is a general rule for a proper yield. 

Calvin: Or rather more for less

Lamington:  indeed...

 So how's Chiffon?  Did you invite him up for cake?

Sarah:  We did, but he's very passionate about the races.

Russe:   Yes.  He must be a regular for he seems a perfect fit down there.  

Sarah:  He even stank like them too

Lamington:  Well, it is a warm breezy day.  I suppose it's a common scent to have so close to the drama.

Wellington: In pluribus unum.

Lamington: One mustn't be so crass.  Let us remember that cream rises to the top.  

Wellington: So does scum. 

Calvin:  Actually, not if it's homogenized.  

[Wellington looks off speculatively for a moment.  While Sarah gives Calvin a dampened smile.]

Sarah: The commons homogenize their dairy. 

Lamington:  You'll have to forgive Wellington, Calvin, he's a bit of a shut-in.  

Wellington: Yes, I prefer the dwellings of less constricted environments.  

Russe:  You do need to make more appearances Wellington, conversation can be so dull.  

Wellington:  Yes, I'm afraid I feel much more comfortable as a Sun King than a Socrates, I admit.  But the reality of others can be so dubious these days to chance an encounter.  If only people came with a visible review.  Yes, one digitally projected on their forehead.

Sarah: Like an Uber driver! We can call it Uber man!

Wellington:  Yes, a rating system for humans.  Ingenious. 

Russe:  Indeed, and we can put anyone with less than a star in the wilderness for a while and film their redemptive struggle.  After they return to their senses they can be readmitted into society.

Lamington: Yes, but how will you know when they've returned to their senses?

Russe:  They can do a puzzle of sorts. 

Sarah: Yes, a puzzle located on a treasure map that they'll need to find using directions and a compass that we'll provide.  Yes, we can drug them and place them upon a hill way up high.  And they'll have to venture into the vale below and bridge the unknown divide.  Yes, and we can film it and put it on TV.  We'll call it Redemption Revived

[...]

Calvin was aghast
For it all seemed a bit absurd
How they all subtly laughed
By the content that they conjured

And the rhymes that Sarah spoke
Seemed to flow like milk from utters

Though its source remains unknown
Was it really just a chance encounter

But they were all just joking
Still a troubling thought for sure
For some find ideas worth molding 
Like those prone to write big words

Realizing that he's in his head

He contrives something that he once heard
Something his philosophy professor once said
To a fellow colleague while getting dessert 

[...]

Calvin: Speaking of Socrates, I once read that he was just a fictional character Plato created in order to facilitate discussion for larger points.

Wellington:  Preposterous.  You shouldn't believe everything you read.   

[...]

Calvin was thoroughly confused
And he didn't know what to believe
For now he cannot rely on truth
Through books or experts on TV

[...]

Sarah:  My economics professor said that wealthy businessmen in China are using human breast milk to get an edge.  And tech companies are hiring cheerleaders now.  It's true.  To motivate their programmers, they hire pretty women to socialize with them and bring them food and drinks.   

Wellington: they should hire them courtesans.  Surely the teasing becomes trite.

Sarah:  Whores?  Brilliant. You would say that.  

Calvin:  No, the lot of them will surely just appreciate the attention.  Virgin eyes know no better, nor therefore have cause for resentment. 

Lamington:  Looks like we have a Shakespearean in our presence. 

Wellington: Is that wisdom Calvin or a quote that you memorized. 

Calvin: I suppose it's a derived insight from the old dilemma: is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all.  But it could be a combination of the two, I suppose. 

Russe:  Tell us Calvin, you seem to have a reservoir of knowledge that betrays your rustic upbringing.  Are you one of those curious cats that have multiple lives that we don't know about?

Calvin:  Well, my uncle was a military man, until he wasn't.  When he came back, he had nowhere to go.  He could have stayed in our guesthouse, but he chose to build a cabin near the treeline.  One day he just abandoned us and departed for the hills--at least we suspected as much.  To this day no one knows why.  Afterwards I would visit his dwelling from time to time to look for clues.   Eventually I read his book collection.  It planted a seed of learning, I suppose. 

Lamington:  I love a great mystery.  Perhaps one day we shall find out.

Sarah: That reminds me, just the other day I was forced to get gas outside of Truesdale and the gas clerk said "how are we doing today?"  And I replied, "I'm doing great--how is your blood sugar today?"  The man looked utterly stumped.  There is no we, sir.  The man has lost it.  What he's really saying is "please help me.  Please."  

Russe: I agree. The pretense that some feel obliged to put forth is sad to see.  They should keep whatever dignity they have left.  There's no point in pretending for such measly compensation.  I imagine most employers don't expect so much.  But some people lose themselves within their roles. It's so sad to see.

Wellington:  Perhaps convenient stores are the modern-day American bayous.  Their pleasantries are just the song of the oppressed and downtrodden. (ha-ha-ha*4)

Calvin:  It could indeed be a cry of the soul.  But I find that type of behavior most prevalent with women.  Their hopelessness drives them mad.  Eventually it leads to internal combustion.  But, from what I've seen, men form a more psychotic or humorous bent.  He could have just been pulling your chain, Sarah.  He perhaps has become an actor on the stage of life...but not for money, but for the lack of it...or perhaps if he was an older gentleman then he very well could be lost in his role, as so many cogs become...

At least that's what I gather from my experiences within the service industry.

Lamington:  Well, looks like we finally have an inside man to tell us the way of it. [laughter*4 (except Calvin {EC})]

Wellington: Yes, you are indeed a lizard found in kings palaces, Calvin.

Russe:  Well, all in all Sarah, that was a close call.  Perhaps you too might need a daily planner [laughter *5]. 

Wellington:  That reminds me of when I was a younger lad and the washroom attendant at some posh pub in Hollingsworth said to me, "you know, there comes a time in everyone's life when you just have to let it go."  I replied, "That's jolly well good sir, now please make sure you dry off my knickers while you're at it." [ha-ha-ha they all laughed—yes, even Calvin]

Russe: Did you hear about Pletherington?  Apparently, he was on the tele apologizing for our imperialist past.  He said the path forward is to be one of reconciliation.  What kind of shenanigans is he up to.

Wellington:  It's pageantry without the procession.  That brings to mind that carousel ride at St. Nicholas Basilica that Francois the third held...socks for tots or shoes for tots...something to that effect...he had the face of one hoping to be came upon by all those who watched him circle about.  

Calvin:  I believe the commons call it a circle jerk.

Wellington:  Ha-ha, indeed, indeed.  The whole endeavor amounted to cocktail party gossip and a cover spread in the Shanderly Central.  No one followed up on those tots without shoes—though I'm sure they're walking an inch or two taller by now. 

Lamington:  Ah, the French....Yes, the past is unfortunate indeed.  But in order to establish civilization one must first establish order--and to do that one must first establish power.  It's a circle of life and we found a way to make ours bigger.  It's not our fault that our ancestors just made more ground.

Wellington: Ah, there he is.  The pirate of the Arabian

Russe:  Looks like oil money to me

Lamington:  He is.  But as a hobby he's a corporate raider.  But it's not because he's greedy--for he divvies the assets generously among his lesser Arabian brethren.

Sarah: A sort of noble savage, is he? 

Lamington:  Yes.  A very rich noble savage.  But I'm sure his spite for the West outweighs his charitable motivations.

Calvin:  He seems out of place here

Wellington: Oh, he is, but his son is in the final race, so encroachment is expected.

Lamington: Looks like it's time for 
The Circling of the Concords 

Let's go support young Xavier, shall we?

Wellington:  What? Is your brother an olive lover? Why does his son have a queer name?

Lamington: It's the new generation, chap, his lush lass of a wife insisted on it. 

Calvin:  Isn't it all a circling? 

Russe: Yes dear, but they like to have fancy names for the final gallop 

[...]

As they'd find the terrace railing 

They'd post up and take their place

And many would come and join them 

Far from their forks and richly dressed cakes

There were about a dozen tethered

Aligned on the rail to watch the race

Calvin didn't know they were all together

Except from the coordinated things that they would say

There was Mr. Smuckers, Mr. Blathers, Mr. Withers, and Mr. Gay

Mr. Downing, Mr. Charleston, Mr. Philly, and Mr. Day

There was Mr. Smith, Mr. Wellington, Mr. Lamington, and Mr. Clay

Then there was Sarah, Calvin, and the ever elegant Russe

They were positioned above the Sheikh

And slightly elevated Calvin surveyed

A small contingent of loyal servants 

Or perhaps more Middle-Eastern Royalty

He felt like the kids in the back of the bus

Enjoying the laughter and obscenities 

Unless you were them you weren't one of us

Nor could be sure of the things relayed 

Xavier started quite behind 

At the beginning of the race

But like grapes growing on a vine

Many would fall off along the way

As Xavier would race pass the Arab

Mr. Lamington would race past the Shiekh

And they both found a clearer view 

And how some things were just meant to be 

[...]

Calvin has been known as sweet

Which is not the best for conversation 

But today tangy was his way

Given the company and occasion

And like some blueberries he has seen

He has transmigrated categorization

Though he's not joined the fox grape family

Calvin has demonstrated like persuasion