No Walky-Talky on the Uberpath (updated 2/23)
I could elaborate on product and service as well, and I could probably find approaches to make my musings relevant to the uninitiated, but I will refrain from doing so; because, as it's currently constructed, everyone can benefit from my insights, and not just those who work in this specific field.
P.S. For official review, I wouldn't include the bold print or the endnotes, but I would include them in a presentation, depending on the workplace/corporate culture. Even so, I know that all the content would require further trim and word substitution. And I could have embedded links, but you should be copying and pasting anyways, as a safety precaution.
Safety Tips as a Solo Surveyor
Plan
ahead: know your expected route and the environment you will put yourself in
(!).
Visit
the most dangerous areas early in the morning, as they will be less likely to
be busy (@).
Always nod your head
down, and not up, when you're passing a pedestrian. Nodding down is
a sign of compliance (you're telling them that you're on the level), whereas
nodding up is a sign of recognition--or worse, incitement--which you don't want
to do, because you don't recognize them.
Try not to speak, unless
the proximity or situation demands it. The last thing you want to do is
to invite a conversation with someone that you know nothing about (#).
Maintain five to ten
feet of distance to anyone passing by, and be the first to show common courtesy
and step to the side and off the sidewalk.
Never turn your back to
a potential threat. Think courteous but courageous--and contained
(you do not want to burst your bubble, or incite someone else to burst it
either).
Stay
mobile and strap the level carrying case across your back like an arrow quiver.
Opt
for athletic wear and zippered pockets.
Wear
sunglasses: no one knows where you're looking, plus you look bad-ass (%).
Consider
self-defense measures like pepper spray or a pocket knife that can be affixed
and visible on your person. There is even a keychain alarm that I
recommend to ward off potential attackers and alert others (^). Alarm addendum: One, if they aren't freaked out by you sounding the alarm or blowing the whistle--classic horror-movie tell--they are going rape and or kill you. Second, if you're in the woods and the alarm is automatic, throw it as far away from you as possible and towards the most obvious source of help--that way you're making the attacker choose between you and the alarm; however, if you're in a suburban area, keep the alarm on you while you run towards a main street. Third, if the attacker looks faster than you or if you deem it a more viable option, play cat and mouse around a vehicle while simultaneously blowing the whistle or sounding the alarm. Any delay will you give you time to ready additional PPE measures. Don't be afraid to blow that whistle or sound the alarm. Remember: it's better to freak out a stranger than get killed by one. Besides, you can always use the "oops smile" (-%-) if you blow the whistle and you're wrong (refer to Vote or Die blog entry). ( https://youtu.be/-O6IJlWUktU )
The
idea is to dissuade any crime of opportunity, and anything that you can do to
give the potential attacker second thoughts is a good thing.
Do not approach or linger in any area that seems unsafe. You can
always come back later (&).
In
Iraq, the idea was not to set up camp and patrol in the heart of Fallujah.
The invading force would instead start in a neutral area and make looping
incisions into enemy-occupied territory, exterminating hostiles along the
route. The same concept (except the exterminating part) can be applied
when traversing unsafe city streets. Park in friendlier neighborhoods and
walk the main streets, and make unpredictable (or predictable [I don't think
they'll be stalking]) looping incisions onto less savory side streets.
And don’t double back, especially if you have noticed something awry while initially
passing through (*).
With
these considerations, you should feel safer than you did before. And
remember, everyone wants safer sidewalks, so go confidently knowing that your
purpose is aligned with the greater will.
These inane comments are only crazy or callow if I don’t acknowledge them as such; and since I do acknowledge them as such, they are just part of an act—which is being done to entertain and to teach (the former facilitating the latter’s purpose). Besides, no one is paying me to write this; if they did, I would write this in an appropriate technical fashion. However, as it is, this is not only enjoyable, but it also showcases my know-how and can-do (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of_jyeDZ3Sg&feature=youtu.be). I mean, I could just tailspin into oblivion because of my low status and the fact that Debbie next door just got a Mercedes and I didn't, but I'll save my existential angst for my personal blog.
And yes, I know that it’s smarter to simplify language—and even required by law if it’s a government document issued to the general public—but much like medicine, instruction is a diagnostic task, which requires a precise vocabulary (Thinking Fast and Slow) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmYkt2RkhsI). Besides, have you ever tried to read Being and Time--he did not try to simplify that at all, and he's supposedly really smart!
!
- Fun fact: it only takes bees a handful of times before they nearly perfect an
optimally efficient route to and from their hive. However, bees
don’t have concerns that interfere with their momentary understanding (such as
what’s for dinner, who’s going to do the laundry, etc.); plus knowing where to
go frees up your mind to think about flow and safety (or dinner and
laundry).
@ - I opted to do the more dangerous neighborhoods on weekdays in the early morning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-W07hgx_I).
# - A good flow facilitation technique is to profile others and when engaged in conversation say something contrary to what the other person would presumably like to hear. Just kidding—but seriously, most people are lonely and want an excuse to talk to someone; so, to avoid irrelevant disruptive conversations be courteous and professional, but be curt (not Curt—no one likes Curt) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYUaRDRKNak).
%
- I did offer a different explanation on the Influences sheet that could be
just as suitable as this one, but I needed to reword it to avoid
redundancy.
^ - I thought that me being a 5'10" adult male with a beard should ward of any potential threat, but I did attract a hostile-looking stalker, which convinced me that these additional measures were necessary (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjkWd8sqPn4). For the key alarm, I would suggest playing cat and mouse around a large object or making the aggressor choose between you and the alarm (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzRa5Zd5_F0). And I’m aware that there might be some liability issues in suggesting personal protection equipment like a knife or pepper spray, so a lawyerly examination should precede any official advisements.
&-
Yes, it’s ideal not to stereotype, and I have nothing against alleyways, but
still I’d rather just walk around one than through one.
*Really
this analogy is about priming common people to have the right mindset when
traversing potentially unsafe variable environments. And the obvious
concerns in any endeavor therein, especially on the mean streets, are flow and
security. Fun fact: the Three Wise Men didn't double back.
-%- - Oops Smile
And
of course, if you examine your behavior in any danger-close situation you will
find yourself adopting these principles for future use. I’m trying
to egg you on to do the right thing lest you become a chicken and suffer
irreparable harm because you confused the co-creating ideal civil world for the
co-existing base animal world that we are subjected to. I could cite
(thanks to my Commons Book) Aurelius or Machiavelli to lend credence to my
credo (since precedent is one tool to build an argument), but I will instead
quote Bohdi in the movie Point Break: “it’s basic
dog psychology…if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how
people get hurt." (Although I like my memory of it better: project strength to avoid conflict. Psychology 101).
Inhibit Interruptory Influences
To avoid flow interruption there are several considerations and practices that you can implement.
Ask yourself key questions like what if I have to run, fight, or pee? Will it rain? Will there be that annoying guy holding that sign? What if I get hungry? These are all concerns that you can mitigate with tactical thinking.
Plan your route ahead of time.
Visit the area of operation when most likely to be least inhabited.
Park at the epicenter of your daily route and work clockwise (Pac-Man).
Park near a people-friendly business for easy-access bathroom breaks, or tint your windows.
Save shaded areas for less cloudy days (main streets tend to be less tree friendly).
Visit intersections intermittently (stress control), and only after having first ingested caffeine or L-theanine.
Stay off the grass, unless it’s public property and doing so would free walk space.
Watch where you're standing: be conscientious of ants and they will be conscientious of you.
Opt for wired headphones, as they are more conspicuous and should dissuade potential disrupters.
Wear sunglasses, as they are a great tool for diversion and obfuscation.
Carry an altoid container full of approved over-the-counter drugs and supplements, and a Nuun container full of fiber-chalked energizing almonds (the perfect nut for the job!) to remain full and satisfied during your travels.
And
use a fannypack, if necessary, as it is the least movement-restrictive storage option.
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